


Tempted by the Fruit of Another

by storywriter55



Series: Milestones [11]
Category: White Collar (TV 2009)
Genre: Gen, Infidelity, Postpartum Depression, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28031346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storywriter55/pseuds/storywriter55
Summary: Neal and Sara’s relationship is tested when a woman from Neal’s past returns, tempting him to stray from his marriage vows.Part of the Milestone series (5.3 years)
Relationships: Neal Caffrey/Sara Ellis
Series: Milestones [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/80614
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

Neal turned in bed, reaching for his wife and finding an empty and cold spot where she’d been moments before. He checked the time: 2:53 a.m. Maybe Liam had woken up and she’d gotten up to nurse him – although this wasn’t his usual feeding time. Since his arrival five weeks earlier, little Liam had been a rather calm baby, a good sleeper in fact, and he didn’t need to be fed quite as frequently as his big sister had. With Hope, they’d been lucky to get three consecutive hours of sleep at any point of the day or night whereas Liam usually went a good five hours without crying for his mom’s breast.

Neal sat up in bed and decided to investigate. He made his way into the baby’s room, fully expecting to find Sara sitting in the rocking chair with Liam in her arms but what he found was the little guy sound asleep, his breathing calm and even. The mystery deepened and Neal made his way downstairs in search of his wife.

He was surprised to find her sitting at the kitchen table, staring off into space.

‘Hey’ he called out as he made his way into the kitchen. ‘What are you doing down here in the middle of the night?’

‘I couldn’t sleep. I thought I heard Liam crying and then I just couldn’t get back to sleep’ she said looking up at him with weary eyes.

‘Come on back to bed’ he said, reaching for her arm. ‘You’re going to be exhausted in the morning.’

Sara shook her head, not even bothering with a verbal answer. 

He moved his hands to rest on her shoulders and began to gently rub her neck. ‘What’s the matter, Repo? You haven’t been yourself lately’ he said, depositing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

Sara gave him a non-committal shrug.

‘C’mon babe' he coaxed with a playful glint in his eye. 'I have a sure way to put you back to sleep.’ 

‘Neal!’ she said dismissively, clearly unamused. ‘I’m just going to sit here for a while then I’ll come up. Go on, I’m fine.’

All Neal could think of was that he was expected at his desk at Finch and John’s first thing in the morning. As a matter of fact, he had a presentation to prepare for the Board of Directors’ meeting at noon and he was far from finished with his preparation. He toddled back towards the stairs giving Sara one last ‘come on’ nod of the head which she chose to ignore, sending him on his way. 

WCWCWC

Although Liam had been born just a few weeks earlier, Sara had been on maternity leave for several months already.Neal had been involved in a car accident in late February and had suffered a serious brain injury. Sara had been scheduled to start her leave in early May but she’d left her job precipitously to take care of him and now that July was right around the corner and school was out, she was home with both the kids while Neal had returned to work full time. It had definitely been a rough six months for the family and Liam’s arrival had been the bright spot, something they had both been looking forward to now that Neal was on the mend. 

Neal’s recovery had been slow, his long term memory seriously impaired and he was still struggling with many aspects of his life. He had come to, after the accident, not remembering his life with his family but after a few months of therapy, he’d managed to retrieve most of his memories around his early months and years with Sara and Hope. He still had large gaps in his recollection though, and he was often frustrated, continuing with his weekly visits to the Brain Injury Clinic at Lenox Hill Hospital in Manhattan. Overall tough, he was feeling settled, Liam’s arrival contributing to his rehabilitation as he fell in love with his little boy, the baby he and Sara had waited to welcome for so long.

Work was a welcome complement to Neal’s life as a husband and father. He’d been home for a few years, providing child care and keeping the home fires burning and now, with Hope in school, he was ready to start contributing financially to their family life. He’d fallen into art authentification quite by accident and when a full time job had opened up as authenticator for the large insurance company, he’d been the obvious choice. He was their go-to guy anytime something was recovered and he took his role with his new employer very seriously. It also gave him a chance to handle some very high end art – not all treasures, mind you – but still some lovely pieces to help scratch that itch for shiny things that still persisted.

Although no longer in service to the FBI, Neal still maintained his connections with the New York White Collar Unit. Not only was Peter Burke his best friend and confidant, the g-man still called on his ex-CI from time to time and Neal was only too happy to work random cases with his ex-handler, mostly consulting and sometimes doing the odd stint in the field. No matter what else was going on in Neal’s life, he would always enjoy the adrenaline rush he felt working cases and he still indulged his guilty pleasure from time to time.

The phone rang on his desk as Neal was putting the finishing touches on his power-point presentation and he absent-mindedly reached out to answer.

‘Neal Caffrey’ he said into the phone.

‘Hey buddy, how’s it going?’ answered the familiar voice on the other end.

‘Hey Peter’ Neal said as he continued banging away at the last few details on his computer.

‘Do you have any time next week to do a small job for me?’ asked his mentor rather cryptically.

‘Okay… that sounds mysterious. What’s up?’

‘We got an anonymous tip from a fence. He wants to share some intel but he asked specifically for a meeting with you.’

‘Oh yeah?’ said Neal, his chest puffing out ever so slightly.

‘Cut it out Caffrey! I can see you preening from here’ said Peter with a chuckle. ‘It’s just a meet, not the Nobel prize.’

‘Sure, I can do it’ Neal responded, slightly deflated. ‘Set it up and let me know when.’

WCWCWC

Matthew Keller sat outside the Food Emporium in Chicopee, New York waiting for his mark to leave the store. It was just past noon and he expected her to make an appearance in the next few minutes as she took her lunch break. He’d been observing Michelle Young for the past few weeks and he was fairly certain she would be the perfect means in his quest to bring the great Neal Caffrey down a peg or two. After all, everyone had a price and the pretty Ms Young looked pretty down on her luck.

Ever since their latest skirmish, Keller had been looking for ways to mess with the all too perfect white bread life of his ex-partner – the holier than thou Neal Caffrey. They had come from similar backgrounds, neglected by their parents in their youth and upon hooking up, they’d discovered they were kindred spirits, both concluding that if you wanted the good things in life, you should just reach out and take them. They’d had a blast making their way through Europe, evading the police, pulling off jobs and essentially living the good life. But at some point, Neal had gone soft on him, rebuking violence as a means to an end and Keller had been monitoring Neal’s activities ever since, envious of the fact that the ex-con had made a good life for himself. Neal had a great job, he’d married the beautiful Sara Ellis, had a couple of kids and he had everyone, including his buddy Peter Burke of the FBI, eating out of the palm of his hand. Charmed life – that’s what Caffrey was living and he didn’t deserve any of it. Anything Keller could do to disrupt the perfect little middle-class life his ex-partner had carved out for himself would give him a great deal of pleasure and satisfaction.

His last heist had netted him a nice little nest egg and he couldn’t think of a better way to spend a portion of it than by getting the revenge he so desired. He continued tracking the lovely Ms Young as she made her way to the nearby coffee shop just as she’d done every other day over the past week. Keller stepped out of the car and made his way inside.

WCWCWC

Neal came up the driveway to the sound of Liam crying inconsolably. He hastened his step, reaching the front door in record time. He was somewhat stunned by what he found when he walked in.Hope was sitting at the kitchen table by herself, drawing, and Sara sat on the couch in the family room blankly staring at the television set while Liam's cries continued unanswered.

‘What’s going on in here?’ he asked looking from Hope to Sara. ‘Don’t you hear Liam crying?’

Sara looked up, eyes slightly glazed over. ‘Of course I _hear_ him Neal, I’ve tried everything to get him to stop.’

He turned on his heels and headed up the stairs following the loud cries and finding his son lying on his back, wailing, face wet and red and kicking up a storm. He leaned down to pick him up and bring him to his chest, cradling the infant, instantly calming him as he spoke. 

‘Hey buddy’ he murmured softly. ‘What’s the matter, huh?’ 

The baby was soaked right through his little sleeper and Neal stared down at his dress shirt as a wet stain began to spread across his chest.

‘You’re all wet little guy’ he said calmly as the baby struggled to catch his breath.

He got him cleaned up and moved over to his own room, putting him down on the bed as he changed into some casual clothes while Liam cooed on the bed. They made their way back downstairs, the baby finally quiet and calm.

‘He was wet, Sara’ Neal said, an impatient edge to his voice.

‘Neal, I changed him just over an hour ago and he just wouldn’t settle’ she replied defensively, looking totally overwhelmed by the situation.

Hope sat quietly and looked on with concern. It wasn’t often she heard her parents argue – as a matter of fact, they were notorious lovebirds. Sure, they bantered frequently, trying to outdo each other but always with humour and always ending with a kiss or a nuzzle. This was totally out of character for the two of them and she wasn’t quite sure how to react.

Neal continued cradling Liam against him, the baby seemingly content as Neal began to forage through the refrigerator in the hopes of getting some inspiration for dinner. Sara continued to look on, despondent. 

Neal had never seen his wife quite like this before. She was wearing the same pyjamas she’d had on that morning and he deduced she hadn’t even had a shower. Her behaviour was totally out of character, worrisome even and he tried to think back to a particular moment in time when he’d started to notice a change in her. But the past month had just been so hectic with Liam’s arrival, Neal’s medical appointments, school letting out and his return to work that the whole thing was just one giant blur.

‘Neal, you don’t know what it’s like’ she continued, rising from the couch and walking towards him. ‘I’m home with the kids all day, every day while you’re off doing… whatever.’

He reacted with surprise. ’Whatever?’ he repeated, his voice growing angry. 'Sara, I’m out earning a living, _that’s_ what I’m doing.’

He slammed the fridge shut, finally giving up. ‘Looks like it’s take-out for dinner _again_ tonight.’

WCWCWC

‘May I help you?’ Michelle said as she looked up at the stranger standing directly in front of her table.

‘No, but I think I can help _you_ ’ Matthew Keller replied as he pulled out a chair and sat down, uninvited.

‘Look, buddy, I don’t know who you are but I didn’t invite you to sit at my table so please...’

‘Michelle, Michelle, Michelle, give me a chance to explain and if you don’t like what I have to say then I’ll take a hike’ answered Keller with his signature smarmy smile.

Her face changed at the mention of her name and she was instantly curious as to who this man was and what he wanted. It wouldn’t hurt to listen, after all, she was in the middle of a busy café in the middle of the day, what could he possibly do to her?

‘All right, you’ve got two minutes before I ask that big burly guy at the cash to kick your ass out of here. Talk’ she said as she crossed her arms defiantly across her chest.

Keller smiled at her outspoken attitude. She had rough edges, that was for sure and they would come in handy for the little mission he had in mind for her. He studied the woman sitting across from him. She’d obviously fallen on hard times as of late but she was very pretty, blond, blue eyed with a great body. He knew from researching her that, despite the dreams she’d had as a young woman, life had not been kind to her. She had fallen for a real prince, a guy who’d abused her for years before dumping her and running off with a woman half her age. She was now working at the local grocery store, no doubt making minimum wage but it was obvious that she still had an eye for expensive things as evidenced by her manicured hands and fancy hair cut. She must be blowing a good part of that meagre income on those indulgences, thought Keller.

He placed an envelope on the table between them and pushed it closer to the woman. Her eyes went from Keller’s face to the small package, her face instantly illuminated as she spied a stack of bills tucked inside the envelope.

‘That’s $10,000 for you just for agreeing to do a little job for me’ he said, leering at her.

‘Look buddy, I don’t know who you think I am but I have no interest in getting between the sheets with you for any amount of money’ she said as she pushed the envelope away.

‘Michelle, you’ve got me all wrong. I just want you to reconnect with an old flame of yours, that’s all’ explained Keller.

‘An old flame?’ she repeated. Now, he had her curious.

‘This $10,000 is yours plus another three grand to get yourself some nice clothes and if you carry out the job to my satisfaction, there’ll be another $10,000 at the end of the job.’

Now he had Michelle’s undivided attention. Twenty thousand bucks and a new wardrobe all for catching up with an old boyfriend. That sounded like a fun way to spend some time.

‘So, which one of my old boyfriends are we talking about?’ she asked.

‘Neal Caffrey’ he replied with a sneer.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

‘Are you and Mommy getting a divorce?’ Hope asked as Neal tucked her in for the night.

‘What? Whatever gave you that idea?’

‘Amy Miller said her parents are always fighting and now _they’re_ getting a divorce’ Hope mumbled, looking miserable.

‘No, honey, of course not!’ Neal declared unequivocally. ‘Mommy and I… well, we don’t always agree on everything, that’s all. That doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. People who love each other have arguments all the time.’

Hope looked up into his eyes, uncertain whether or not to believe him.

‘Look, I’ve seen you and Olivia fight plenty of times. Remember when she accidentally broke your Hello Kitty keychain. You were really mad. Did you stop wanting to be her friend?’

Hope shook her head remembering the unfortunate incident.

‘But Mommy’s always crying’ she said.

‘Mommy cries when I’m not here?’ This was the first Neal had heard of this.

‘Yes and she looks sad all the time’ said the worried child.

Neal pulled Hope in against his chest, ruffling her hair.

‘Oh honey… it’s not easy to take care of a baby. I think Mommy’s just tired. Don’t worry, okay?’ Neal said, hoping to reassure his daughter.

‘Maybe I can help more’ she said, eyes alight.

‘Hope, you don’t have to do anything. Just be your usual wonderful self, okay and let me take care of Mommy’ he said, tugging at her nose and pulling the blankets up to her chin.

‘Goodnight Daddy.’

‘Goodnight, sweet pea.’

Neal made it to bed and noticed Sara, once again curled up with her back to him – her usual pose as of late. He slid under the covers and slipped in behind her, his arm wound around her waist as he spooned her. He instantly felt her body stiffen under his touch and he cringed at her response. They hadn’t been connecting lately – on any level. They’d always had a terrific sex life, even when she was pregnant – especially when she was pregnant. He thought back to the last few weeks, trying to remember the last time they’d been intimate. It was before Liam was born – as a matter of fact, the night before he was born and again on the morning she’d gone into labor. The last few weeks had been hectic and Neal hadn’t given it much thought but it was going on five weeks and they’d never had a five week dry spell – ever.

‘Sara, honey talk to me’ he said, his arm still snaked around her waist.

‘I’m tired, Neal’ she answered, not bothering to turn around.

‘We have to talk, Sara. I’m worried about you.’

‘I told you I’m tired! What more can I say? You try staying home, day in day out, with two kids and see how you do’ she answered sharply.

He knew what being a stay-at-home parent was all about; he’d done it himself for the better part of five years. Granted, it had its ups and downs but Sara wasn’t coping with the situation with the same cockeyed optimism he’d had over the years. 

‘Maybe you need a bit of a break. Why don’t we plan a night out? I’m sure Peter and Elizabeth would be happy to stay with the kids’ he suggested, hoping to bring her around.

He felt her shrug against his body but he wasn’t giving up.

‘Come on, what do you say babe? Saturday night, date night, you and me. Do you remember our first date after Hope was born?’ he asked, recalling the great time they’d had and moving in to nuzzle her neck.

She let out a choked laugh but it sounded forced. Of course she remembered. Neal had taken her out to dinner at the Auden Bistro in the Ritz Carlton and they had gotten so carried away – well, she’d gotten so carried away – that they’d had to take a room at the hotel. She’d had a little too much to drink and she hadn’t been able to keep her hands off him. They’d spent a wonderful night at the upscale hotel as they’d finally reconnected. Things had seemed so simple back then. They had a beautiful little baby girl and they had each other. Why did everything feel so complicated this time around, she wondered.

‘I suppose…’ she finally relented.

She loved her husband but lately, nothing appealed to her, not even his loving touch which she normally hungered for. After years of praying for a miracle, she’d finally given birth to a beautiful baby boy and she couldn’t understand why she felt so empty when she held him in her arms. Add to that the guilt she felt about the way she was feeling and she just couldn’t tell anyone what was going on, especially not Neal who was just coming out of a rough patch himself. 

Maybe a night out would help; it was certainly worth a try.

WCWCWC

Michelle Young sat in the luxurious spa as she was attended to by estheticians and manicurists. This was the life! She hadn’t been able to treat herself to much in the way of creature comforts the last little while and this was a most welcome change from her humdrum life.

She thought back to Neal Caffrey and her first meeting with him. He’d caught her eye when he’d walked into that very first art class. He was young and gorgeous, those blue eyes so clear and full of mischief. They were barely twenty years old, both searching for a meaning to life when they'd met up at the School of Visual Arts. They both shared an interest in painting and had high hopes for the future but Neal had talent, real talent that he continued to hone as the semester progressed. She remembered the teacher, an older woman, raving about Neal’s talent and technique but it had become obvious that she was also interested in Neal, the man. Who wouldn’t be attracted to him – that smile, those eyes and that way he had of making every woman feel like she was the only person in the room. Neal had flirted with the woman, taking full advantage of her interest in him but he’d only had eyes for Michelle.

_‘Why do you indulge her?’ Michelle asked as they lay in bed one lazy Sunday morning._

_‘What? There's no harm in flirting. She might be able to help with my career’ he answered as he nuzzled her neck._

_‘Are you sleeping with her?’ she asked point blank. Although their relationship was casual, she didn’t like the idea of sharing this gorgeous man with a cougar._

_‘No! Of course not!’ Neal replied, offended. ‘A little harmless flirting never hurt anyone’ he added, moving his lips to hers, his intentions clear._

The lovemaking had been amazing. They were young and they had a lot in common. Neal had arrived in New York two years earlier and had been doing odd jobs here and there – not always on the up and up and she was still struggling with what she wanted to do with her life as she waitressed at a local restaurant. But they fit well together and the sex was mind-blowing so the relationship had evolved into a comfortable ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement which suited them both just fine.

Neal had been full of dreams for the future and she admired his ability to turn any situation into an adventure – he had charisma and an ability to make you believe anything he wanted you to believe. And he had that bad boy vibe that made her toes curl.

She thought back to how they had drifted apart over time. It had happened so naturally that she couldn’t even remember a particular moment when they'd decided to call it quits. They'd just gradually gone their separate ways until they were no longer seeing each other. She had moved on to another guy she’d met at work and suddenly Neal wasn’t around quite as much.

It would be a kick to see him again, that’s for sure. In two days, she’d be back in New York and she was going to take full advantage of this little escapade. Keller had gotten her a gorgeous room at The Plaza Hotel and she looked forward to playing the role of a successful interior designer – the cover Keller had given her. Breaking up Neal Caffrey’s marriage was a challenge she was looking forward to. 

She closed her eyes, enjoying the moment.

WCWCWC

When Neal asked for their help, Peter and Elizabeth were more than happy to oblige. They’d been caregivers for Hope on countless occasions, how much harder could it be to take care of two kids rather than one? They offered to come to White Plains so the Caffreys wouldn’t have to shuttle the kids all the way to Brooklyn and as Sara and Neal prepared to leave, Peter took his buddy aside.

‘Look, El and I are happy to spend the night on the pull out couch if you guys decide to stay out all night. Get yourselves a nice room at one of the big hotels – treat yourselves’ he said quietly, out of earshot of the women.

Neal smiled at the offer. It sounded like sage advice and he had purposefully chosen the Ritz Carlton again in the hopes of rekindling memories of the memorable night they’d had there five years earlier. Although he hadn’t confided his concerns regarding Sara, Peter was a top notch investigator and Neal figured he must have been unknowingly sending out worry vibes about his wife.

Dinner was nice.

Sara even had a glass of Chardonnay and she seemed to be relaxing a bit. She had pulled out one of her stylish pre-pregnancy dresses for the occasion and Neal had helped zip her up and put on her necklace. He was craving the physical intimacy which normally flowed so easily between them. Except for the period when Sara was having her chemotherapy treatments, she’d never pushed him away like she’d been doing the past few weeks. He wanted so badly to take her in his arms, feel her warm body against his but it wasn’t just the sex, although he did miss that an awful lot. More than that though, he missed the intimacy, the laughter and the easy banter they’d always shared.

He was hoping they could have a frank and open discussion over dinner and finally clear the air. There’dbeen a lot of tension in their household over the past few weeks. Hope’s comments had brought everything to a head; if Sara was that unhappy, something was definitely going on.

‘How’s the sea bass?’ he asked, trying to get the conversation going.

‘Good, as usual. How about you?’ she replied, pointing to Neal’s plate of shrimp risotto.

‘Delicious’

After a few moments of awkward silence, Neal couldn’t take any more. ‘Sara…’ he said, reaching for her hand, ‘…look at me.’

She looked up, her eyes expressionless. He rubbed her knuckles lovingly as if doing so would bring back the woman hidden under the sad eyes. 

‘Honey I’m really worried about you. You just… you don’t seem happy lately’ he said, a statement more than a question.

‘I’m just… going through a rough patch, that’s all. I feel like you’re on my case all the time’ she answered combatively as she pulled her hand away.

‘Sara, I love you and I care about how you feel but you have to tell me what’s going on here. I’m going out of my mind. Are you sick?’

She gave a rather unhumorous chuckle. ‘No, of course not. I’m not sick.’

He breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Is it me? Have I done something to upset you?’

‘No, no, of course not Neal. It’s not you’ she answered, her voice full of emotion.

‘Then what is it? I know there’s something going on. Is it Liam?’ he asked although he couldn’t imagine how their beautiful baby boy could be causing her such anguish.

‘No!’ she shot back. ‘Liam .... Liam’s great. It’s just everything... sometimes, it feels like the walls are closing in on me.’

That was the longest sentence she’d managed to string together in a while and Neal leaned in, eager to keep the conversation going.

‘Honey, what can I do to make it better? Do you need me to take time off work… help out with the kids?’ he asked, trying to re-establish eye contact with her.

‘That’s ridiculous, Neal. We don’t both need to be home’ she answered dismissively in that way she had of shutting him out.

Suddenly, she was feeling trapped by the conversation. If only she could put words to the way she was feeling, she’d willingly tell Neal just so she could get him off her back. All she knew was that she just wasn’t getting the warm fuzzy feeling she should be having when she had her son in her arms. Whenever she looked at him, all she saw was a helpless little person who relied on her for everything and she felt like all the energy was being sucked out of her. 

Sara’s curt answer threw Neal off and he got sidetracked for a moment. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear she was trying to pick a fight with him and wouldn’t be happy until he lost his cool. He wasn’t about to let that happen.

‘Then tell me’ he said, his voice pleading. ‘Anything… I’ll do anything.'

Neal Caffrey had never begged for anything in his life – things always came easily to him and if not, he knew how to get what he wanted every time. But this was his wife, the love of his life, his life partner, the person with whom he shared his deepest darkest secrets, the woman who knew him inside and out and who despite his shortcomings, loved him unconditionally. He wasn’t about to let her push him away not matter what. 

‘Stop it Neal. You’re driving me crazy’ she finally said, shutting him down once more.

He took a deep breath. He’d planned a nice evening out and he was determined to break through whatever wall Sara was building around herself. 

‘Look, we don’t have to talk. Let’s just enjoy dinner and then maybe we can go dancing up at the bar’ he said patiently.

Sara nodded but seemed unconvinced. She loved him but even his beautiful blue eyes looking longingly at her weren’t doing it for her right now.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Neal held his wife close to him as they danced and he could feel her trembling slightly in his arms. He pulled her in a little tighter noticing with dismay that he could feel the outline of her ribs through her dress. Come to think of it, she hadn’t been eating much lately. 

He spoke gently in her ear as the mellow voice of Michael Bublé played in the background. ‘Are you cold?’

He could feel her shaking her head no against his neck.

‘I’ve really missed holding you in my arms like this’ he whispered, running his hand up and down her back and feeling her begin to relax.

She pulled away, looking into those deep blue pools of aquamarine and giving him a small smile. She had to admit his body felt warm and reassuring against hers, his strong arms enveloping her and making her feel safe. She loved him, of course she did, but she just wasn’t feeling that sense of excitement she’d always felt when he’d held her in the past, that anticipation, that exhilaration. And yet, he was the same wonderful Neal he’d always been, attentive, loving, caring – why couldn’t she get that feeling back? 

Since he had been in her life, he’d been a constant source of excitement and adventure. Even after all this time, she still got butterflies just seeing him walk into a room and whenever he touched her, she melted. Always. Lately though, it was as if everything in her life had been muted, as if it was all in black in white whereas before it had been in glorious technicolor and she just couldn’t get excited about anything.

‘While you were in the ladies room, I booked us a room upstairs. Is that okay?’ he asked as the music continued.

‘Sure’ she replied without much enthusiasm. Neal had gone to a lot of trouble and she had to make an effort. She forced herself to smile at him once again and she put her head back on his shoulder, trying as best she could to relax. 

By eleven o’clock, they made their way up to the room – familiar room 1503 where they’d stayed twice before. It embodied nothing but good memories for the two of them and Neal hoped that by just being in the room, Sara would start to relax and enjoy being with him. The place looked the same and Sara made her way to the window to look out at the Manhattan skyline. She felt oddly awkward — as if she was expected to ‘put out’ after Neal spent all this money on their date. She immediately shook off that feeling; this was her husband and he loved her. He would understand if she explained that she just wasn’t up to having sex.

Neal made his way to stand by her side, lacing his arms around her waist and placing a gentle kiss on her shoulder. Whatever was making Sara miserable, he wanted to make it better. He just wanted a chance to reconnect somehow and rediscover the warm feelings that had always united them. She was in there somewhere and he was determined to get her to open up. He gently turned her around to face him, suddenly nervous as if it was their first time – not wanting to presume anything yet wanting her so badly. Sara took his face in her hands, bringing his lips to hers and he began to relax – this was the Sara he knew and loved, his Sara. He deepened the kiss, immediately sensing her pulling away.

‘Look honey, we’re not sixteen anymore. I’m a sure thing, okay? If you want me that is. Whatever you want just… just tell me what’s going on. Please’ Neal said softly, pulling her over to sit on the edge of the bed.

‘Neal, I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s hormones, I don’t know… Nothing feels right lately’ she said, genuinely trying to connect with her husband for the first time in weeks.

As she said the last few words, she suddenly began to sob, letting herself dissolve into Neal’s arms. The poor guy was just trying to help and she realized she kept giving him a hard time. He hadn’t done anything to make her feel this way and he didn’t deserve to be taking the brunt of whatever was eating at her.

‘Whatever it is babe… we can work through this together. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere’ he said, reassuringly as he rubbed her back. ‘But you’ve got to talk to me.’

She was tired, so very tired so they prepared for bed with Sara finding that familiar place in Neal’s arms. It felt safe and familiar and she wished she could just stay there and hide until whatever had a hold on her finally let go and went away. She turned to face him and looking into his eyes, she realized once again how loving and understanding he was. He deserved so much more than what she felt able to give him. She kissed him, chastely at first, then more hungrily, trying desperately to get that feeling back, the one she’d been chasing for a few weeks. 

Neal responded in kind, tentatively at first then as she continued to react favourably to his touch, he began to moan, reaching for her hips and pulling her up to straddle him. She looked beautiful with the moonlight streaming in and for a moment, she was back… the woman he loved, the woman who looked at him like he was the best thing to come along since sliced bread. 

‘Neal…’ she murmured lovingly as she positioned herself above him, reaching down to guide him inside her. 

He groaned and began to palm her hips and buttocks, his desire for his wife escalating with every tentative thrust. Encouraged by her response, he began to roll his hips more insistently, feeling that familiar longing that had been building up inside him for the past few weeks. They kissed, their bodies fused as passions rose, their bodies giving voice to the longing they’d both been feeling.

Sara’s breathing had grown laboured as she responded to his touch when suddenly, she stilled her movements, letting out a long mournful sob and letting her head drop to his chest.

To Neal's utter consternation, she began to cry as he stopped the thrusting of his hips, his enthusiasm suddenly short circuited by her unexpected reaction.

He pulled her up to look at her face. ‘Honey, what’s going on?’

‘It’s okay, you can keep going’ she said as she tried to muffle her cries.

He let out a sardonic laugh. ‘Sara… what are you talking about’ he said as he felt himself wilting. ‘This isn’t something I’m doing TO you.’ 

He pulled her off him and settled her back in his arms as his breathing slowed and his heart rate abated. She’d had plenty of reactions during lovemaking over the years, ranging from languid passion to eager and athletic enthusiasm but she’d never reacted quite like this and Neal’s concern grew as he lay there, cradling her tenderly in his arms.

She continued to cry softly as he held her, finally falling asleep exhausted as Neal lay, totally shocked and confused. Something was very wrong with his wife and whether she realized it or not, she needed help to get better. 

And it was his job to see to it that she got that help.

WCWCWC

Michelle Young stepped off the train at Grand Central Station and made her way to the front of the building to hail a cab. New York pulsated around her and she suddenly felt energized. She hadn’t been to the Big Apple for almost ten years and she marvelled at how things were just as she remembered them: exciting and full of life. Matthew Keller had arranged to meet her at the hotel and she reflected on the man, how smarmy and creepy he was. She tried to keep her contacts with him to a minimum; she knew she had to make an effort to put up with him since he was her meal ticket. She thought of the $10,000 in her bank account and all the fun she was going to have spending in.

She leaned over the seat in the cab and spoke to the driver: ‘The Plaza Hotel, please.’

WCWCWC

Neal sat in his office at Finch and Johns as he finished up a report on a newly recovered piece of art. It had been a slow day and it was just about time to take a break for lunch. Ever since their night out, all he could think about was Sara and how much she was suffering. She had refused his offer to take a few days off work and when she got something in her head, there was no going back. He resolved to keep a close eye and see how he could help her through this rough period starting with a chat with Elizabeth, who always gave great advice. After all, she was Sara’s best friend and he knew she could be trusted to do whatever she could to help. 

He instinctively picked up the phone to check on things at home and was surprised when Hope answered on the first ring.

‘Hey, sweet pea! How’s it going?’ he asked his daughter.

‘Hi Daddy!’ she answered.

‘What are you guys up to today?’ he asked.

‘Olivia invited me over this afternoon; we’re going to play at the park’ she said, sounding rather pleased with the plan.

‘Good. Can I talk to Mommy?’

‘Mommy’s sleeping’ came the surprising answer. 

‘Sleeping? Have you guys had lunch yet?’ he asked, somewhat alarmed that Hope was being left to her own devices.

‘No’ she said, plainly.

‘Go wake Mommy up, okay?’ he said.

‘Okay’ she answered as he heard her put down the phone.

He could hear her calling for Sara in the distance and after what seemed like an inordinate amount of time, Sara’s sleepy voice came on the line.

‘Hi’ said Neal, keeping his emotions in check. This was most certainly not business as usual and the more time passed, the more his concern was growing. 

‘Hey’ was all she said.

‘Everything okay over there?’ he asked but of course he knew it wasn’t, even if she didn’t. How could it be when she was sleeping in the middle of the day, leaving two young children unattended?

‘Yeah, just tired’ she responded. This seemed like her stock answer for everything these days.

‘Hope says she’s going over to Olivia’s this afternoon. Have you guys had lunch, yet?’ he asked, knowing full well the answer to his question.

‘No, not yet’ she said, not offering any more of an explanation.

‘Look, things are slow here. Why don’t I come home and get us all organized for lunch and you can rest while I take care of Liam?’ he offered.

‘Okay’ she said, her voice flat, so unlike the woman he knew so well.

Neal spent the afternoon catching up on e-mails while keeping an ear out for Liam. Sara had barely eaten half of the sandwich he’d put in front of her and she had promptly gone back to bed for another nap. 

On a whim, he decided to fire up his trusty search engine and he began to type in ‘depression after childbirth’. Whatever was happening to Sara, she was certainly not the only woman who had exhibited signs of despondency after having a baby. He was shocked as website after website popped up under the heading ‘post-partum depression’. He’d heard the term but he was never quite sure what it was – he’d always assumed it applied to women who gave birth to babies they hadn’t really wanted but as he read, he could see his interpretation was way off. He continued reading the symptoms of the ailment, recognizing the numerous indicators that applied to his wife: irritability, crying, sadness, fatigue, changes in appetite, difficulty sleeping, lack of interest and enjoyment of things that usually brought joy. Women suffering from PPD suffered guilt about what they perceived as inadequate feelings towards their newborns, an uncharacteristic lack of attachment. 

How had he missed this? He’d noticed that Sara wasn’t taking much pleasure in breastfeeding or spending time with Liam. This was in direct contrast to how she’d been with Hope the first few months, loving, caring and absolutely devoted to their daughter.  
He scrolled down to the various treatments, noting that counselling and medication were recommended. He took a deep breath as his suspicions began to take root. Sara Ellis was the most stubborn woman he’d ever met and he thought ahead to the struggle he would have getting her to admit to her feelings let alone getting her to accept treatment. 

He grew pale as he read the potential causes for the condition, a recent trauma suffered by the mother. His accident and long, painful recovery had caused enormous stress for both himself and for Sara. At one point, he’d even moved out of the house and back to June’s as he tried to put the pieces of his life back together again. Sara had been totally despondent at his leaving and had even ended up in hospital, her pregnancy at risk. Had he unwittingly contributed to her condition?

He let out a shaky breath at the thought. He needed to find a way to get Sara the help she needed. The future of his family depended on it.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

On Sunday afternoon, Neal packed the kids up in the car and headed over to Brooklyn in order to give Sara a bit of a break before the start of the work week. The adults sat in the backyard while Hope played in the sandbox Peter had built for her and Liam slept nearby in his baby carrier. Overwhelmed by the events of the previous week, Neal needed someone to talk to and if anybody could give him the love and support he needed, it was Peter and Elizabeth Burke. 

‘So, how’s Sara doing?’ asked Elizabeth, sensing something was up.

‘I wish I knew’ Neal said with a heavy sigh.

‘I notice she hasn’t been her usual self lately’ El said, even before Neal could share his burden.

‘And it’s only getting worse’ he admitted. ‘I’ve been doing some research about postpartum depression and she’s got some pretty classic symptoms.’

Elizabeth didn’t seem surprised at the admission. ’A friend of mine at work had PPD and it was horrible until she got some help. Then things worked themselves out.’

Peter leaned in, putting a hand on his best friend’s arm. ’Have you tried talking to her about it?’

‘I’m having trouble connecting with her – which is not like us’ Neal said, his voice filled with sadness.

Peter and Elizabeth could see the anguish and desperation in his eyes. He seemed totally overwhelmed by this turn of events, not knowing how he was going to help his wife through this while looking after the kids and keeping down a full time job. 

‘I hate to say it but at the moment I’m not sure she’s in any fit state to properly care for the kids’ he added, his voice low so Hope couldn’t hear. ‘I came home the other day and Liam was wailing and Sara just couldn’t cope.’

‘How can we help?’ asked Elizabeth, reaching out to touch his hand.

Neal shrugged and shook his head. ‘I think I’m going to take a few days off work and stay home – although she’ll probably bite my head off when I tell her.’

Elizabeth looked at her husband and turned her eyes back to Neal. ‘What about if we try to convince her to come and spend a few days here to take a break from the kids? Would that help?’

Neal sighed. ‘I suppose… in the short term but I still need to find a way to get her some professional help. I made an appointment with Dr. Cooper, her OB-GYN and I’m seeing her tomorrow. I’m hoping she can give me some advice.’

Peter and Elizabeth nodded; he was thankful for their friendship and support. Now all that was left was to get Sara to admit she needed help.

WCWCWC

‘So, Neal, unless you’ve had a carefully hidden sex-change operation, I take it you’re here to discuss a concern you have regarding Sara?’ the OB/GYN said with a twinkle in her eye.

Dr. Joanne Cooper had known Sara for going on twenty years and Neal had gotten to know her through both of Sara’s pregnancies. She was a lovely woman who used humour to diffuse stressfulsituations and Neal appreciated her unique wit.

He smiled and took a deep breath. ‘Sara’s been depressed since Liam was born and it’s getting worse’ he said.

Dr. Cooper leaned in to listen, all humour set aside.

‘Depressed? How?’

‘She’s always tired, non-communicative, she cries a lot, she avoids the baby and me for that matter.’

‘Sex?’

Neal scoffed. ‘Nada, no interest. And she won’t talk to me, she keeps avoiding me, says she’s just tired.’

‘Sounds like some classic symptoms of post-partum depression but I’m guessing you already figured that out’ she said, her voice low.

Neal nodded. ‘I’m worried about her and the kids. Nothing seems to matter to her right now… all the things that used to be fun...’ Neal let his voice trail.

‘All right, well perhaps we could start by getting her in to see me. She might be more open to discussing all this with her doctor. Chances are she doesn’t want to worry you’ said Dr. Cooper. ‘And she’s probably confused about her feelings.’

‘Dr. Cooper, I feel responsible. I read online that a trauma, especially during the third trimester, can lead to postpartum depression. You probably remember I was seriously injured last winter and we’ve had a really tough time getting through the last six months. I feel like this is all my fault.’

‘Neal, postpartum depression happens to thousands of women every year and it’s treatable. You can’t go blaming yourself. I know for a fact how much you love Sara and your kids so let’s focus on what we can do to help her. Do you think you can get her to agree to come and see me?’

‘Maybe… I’ll find a way’ he said decisively.

WCWCWC

Neal sat in the lobby of The Plaza Hotel, taking in the comings and goings. He loved people watching and over the years, he had perfected the knack of deducing a great deal about people and their motivations just by observing them. He saw a man walk up to the reception desk with a young woman on his arm. He was in his sixties and he gently held the twenty-something woman’s elbow as he made his way to check-in – obviously an extra-marital affair, Neal concluded. A few feet away, he saw a business woman talking on her cell phone and although he couldn’t hear what she was saying, her face was soft and her cadence slow – probably checking in with her kids in a faraway city.

He glanced at his watch. This ‘mystery’ fence was taking his sweet time getting there. The meet was scheduled for 11:30 and it was going on quarter to twelve. He took another cursory glance around the lobby, noticing a pretty blond woman, dressed in a business suit. She was slowly making her way towards him when their eyes met, followed by instant recognition.

‘Neal? Neal Caffrey?’ she said as she walked right up to him.

‘Michelle! Hi!’ Neal, rising from the comfortable couch.

Her eyes sparkled at the sight of him. ’It’s been...’

‘... a long time’ he said, taking in the sight of his long ago ex.

She looked up at him with a radiant smile and put out her arms, inviting a hug in that rather awkward way ex-lovers did after a long time apart. He reciprocated, a polite hug, not too long, just long enough.

‘What are you doing here?’ she asked. ‘Are you staying here at the hotel?’

‘No, no, I’m here for a meeting. I still live in New York. You?’ he asked as he studied her face.

‘I’m here for a few days to meet a client’ she volunteered. ‘I work as an interior designer.’

‘Nice’ said Neal, looking her up and down. She looked fantastic; the years had been kind to her and he hoped, rather vainly, that she was thinking the same about him. He needn’t have wondered.

‘You look amazing, Neal’ she said, touching his arm lightly. ‘I can tell you work out!’

‘Awww, you know...’ Neal said self deprecatingly. ‘…just trying to delay the inevitable... middle age spread and all that.’

‘Look, I’m here for a few days. Why don’t we get together for lunch while I’m here?’ she said, not bothering to wait for an answer.‘Do you have a pen?’

He reached inside his jacket pocket for a pen, handing it to her as he spoke.

‘I don’t know…’ he said, hesitantly. ‘I’ve got a lot going on right now...’ ( _My wife is having a nervous breakdown and I’m trying to take care of my kids and work full time while she continues to push me away he reflected, hating himself for thinking that way about his present predicament.)_

‘Awww, come on’ she said, flashing her bright smile. ‘Just lunch – we have a lot to catch up on.’

‘I’ll let you know’ he said, rather clumsily as she handed him her business card with her cell phone number on the back.

She tugged gently on his lapel, a rather intimate gesture, and she gave him another winning smile before walking away. Neal turned to watch her leave as she made her way to the elevators.

WCWCWC

‘I’m telling you, he never showed up’ Neal said as he sat across his ex-boss in his office in the Federal Building.

‘That’s strange, maybe he got spooked.’

‘I don’t know… but I waited for over half an hour.’

Peter got to his feet. ‘Sorry to have dragged you out there for nothing.’

‘It’s okay’ Neal said as he thought back to the unexpected encounter he’d had at the hotel.

He stood and prepared to leave. ’Well, I guess I should make my way home. I’m going to spring the whole _‘How about a few days of rest at the Burkes_ ’ idea on Sara. Wish me luck!’

WCWCWC

Neal came down from putting the kids to bed and found Sara finishing up in the kitchen, wiping down the counters and loading up the dishwasher. These days, it seemed everything she did took her three times longer than it normally would. She moved slowly, lethargically and he could see from the lines on her face that every little chore had become an overwhelming burden. He walked over and stood by her until she had no choice but to look up at him.

‘Hey’ he said, putting out his hand. ‘Come here.’

Sara frowned, wondering what was up as she let herself be dragged over to the couch in the nearby family room. Neal took a seat, pulling her onto his lap. She smiled indulgently but as were all her smiles lately, it was strained and contrived.

‘Honey, we need to talk about what’s going on’ he said as he began rubbing her back gently.

She searched his eyes, waiting for an explanation.

‘Do you love me?’ he asked, a surprising question from the usually hyper confident man.

‘Of course I love you Neal, I told you, I’m just....’

‘Tired. I know honey, you’re always tired. Look, something’s not right and we both know it.’ 

She tried to avoid his eyes but he held her gaze. ‘Do you trust me?’ he asked, trying desperately to connect with her.

He could feel her growing emotional and he continued rubbing her back, trying to keep her grounded. These days it was as if she was on the edge of tears every minute of every day. She nodded through the tears which had begun to form in her eyes.

He took a deep breath. ’Sara, I only want what’s best for you, for us, for the kids, you do know that, right?’

She nodded again, having difficulty speaking.

‘Whatever this is, whatever’s happening… we need help to get through it. I’m not sure what kind of help but I want us to make a start because you can’t go on like this, _we_ can’t go on like this. Babe, you’re unhappy, I’m worried sick and Hope is, well she’s smart and she knows something’s up. And Liam… well Liam needs his mommy back, he deserves that’ Neal said, staring into her tear filled eyes.

‘But –‘ Sara attempted before she began to blubber. ‘I don’t want to feel like this, I’m not choosing to feel like this. Neal, I miss you, I miss us, I just... I just don’t know how to make this better.’ 

She took a deep gulp of air, trying to control her breathing. ‘Every day, when I wake up... I tell myself... today’s going to be different... I _choose_ to be happy but then, I can’t control it and... ‘

‘That’s why we need help, sweetie. Because I don’t know how to fix this either but I know for a fact you’re not the first woman to feel this way after having a baby and there’s help out there’ Neal explained, doing his darnedest to remain calm.

Sara was exhausted, tired of putting up a front, tired of getting out of bed every single day and trying to come up with excuses for her unexplainable feelings and behaviour, tired of fighting it. Her arms instinctively went around Neal’s neck and he pulled her in tight, feeling the tears stinging his eyes as he held her. 

‘I need you to do two things for me’ he whispered in her ear as she held on to him for dear life.

‘What?’ he heard her murmur, her face plastered against his chest.

‘First off, you need to take El up on her offer and go and stay at the Burkes for a few days. I’ll take care of everything here, the house, the kids. You just go and try to get some distance from all this’ he said, his voice patient.

She pulled away, preparing to argue but he cut her off almost immediately. ‘No buts, Sara, you need this, you need a break.’

She nodded reluctantly. ’What’s the second thing?’

‘I want you to come with me to see Dr. Cooper. I made an appointment for us on Thursday.’

‘No Neal’ she said, her voice full of emotion.

‘Honey please… I’m begging you. Do it for me.’

She took in a deep breath. She was used to being self-sufficient and the thought of having to share what was troubling her with someone else seemed unthinkable. But she was smart and it had begun to dawn on her that, despite her best intentions, she didn’t seem able to kick this thing that had a choke hold on her.

To Neal’s surprise, she looked into his eyes. ‘Okay’ she said quietly, her voice resigned.

He gave her a relieved smile.

’Will _you_ do something for _me_?’ she asked.

‘Anything’ he said, meaning it more than he’d ever meant anything in his life.

‘Will you hold me?’ she asked, her voice trembling.

Neal let out a choked laugh as he pulled her in and held her tighter than tight. They stayed that way for a very long time.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

First thing Wednesday morning, Neal dropped both his children over at the Mason place and helped Sara pack a few things for her little vacation at Hotel Burke in Brooklyn. Despite the connection they’d shared the night before, she had reverted to hiding in her shell and he didn’t want to push it, instead pinning all his hopes on the appointment they had with Dr. Cooper the next day. At the moment, it was the light at the end of what appeared to be a very long tunnel.

He placed her bag in the car and helped Sara in, oblivious to the nondescript van parked across the street – the van where Matthew Keller sat watching the comings and goings in the Caffrey household. The man’s obsession with Neal was unhealthy but he couldn’t seem to help himself. Neal had landed himself in jail but he’d finagled his way into a sweet deal with the Feds, something that had always stuck in Keller’s craw. How come he got to walk away with a cushy arrangement, becoming the poster boy for reform while Keller had to struggle through, constantly trying to stay one step ahead of the authorities. What did Caffrey have that he didn’t have? Nothing, as far as Keller was concerned and yet here he was living the good life in suburbia with a beautiful wife and two adorable kids. The son of a bitch always seemed to land on all fours.

It was time Caffrey found out just how easily he could lose it all.

Keller noted with interest that Neal was carrying a small bag as he stepped out of the house and he panicked for a moment at the thought the couple might be headed somewhere together. That eventuality had never crossed his mind and it certainly wasn’t part of the plan. For things to go as he wanted, Keller needed to find ways to isolate Neal, to keep him off balance and vulnerable. He put the van in motion and began to slowly follow the Caffreys’ car as it made its way across the bridge towards Brooklyn.

WCWCWC

‘Welcome’ said Elizabeth, her arms open as Neal and Sara stepped into the house.

Sara looked around, her face pale. She’d been to the Burke home countless times but she couldn’t remember ever sleeping over. What the hell was she doing there?

‘All right’ she muttered, glancing around the room. ’This is just weird.’

‘It isn’t’ insisted Elizabeth. ‘You need a break and I have a few days off. You’ll see it’ll be fine’ she said hugging her friend.

‘So…’ Neal said as he put down the bag and turned to face his wife. It seemed strange to be dropping her off and heading out to work as if nothing was amiss. Suddenly, she looked like a frightened little girl being dropped off on the first day of camp.

She gave him a tentative smile.

‘How about I bring the kids over for a visit tonight?’ Neal said running his hands up and down Sara’s arms in an effort to reassure her.

She nodded and looked into his eyes. ‘I’m sorry’ she said as her eyes began to fill with tears.

Neal felt a lump form in his throat and reached out to hug her. She was as stiff as a board, hard, unyielding edges, fighting him all the way.

‘Honey, I told you’ he murmured softly in her ear. ‘There’s absolutely nothing to be sorry about. None of this is your fault. Just get some rest, okay?’

He kissed her forehead, trying his best to get a glimpse into her eyes but she pulled away, becoming increasingly upset and without warning, she made a beeline for the nearby stairs, carrying her bag and leaving her husband and best friend behind.

Neal and Elizabeth exchanged glances and El could see that he was having doubts about the course of action they’d decided on.

‘This is wrong’ he said, making a move to follow Sara up the stairs. ‘I should be the one taking care of her.’

El held him back, urging him to look at her. ’You _are_ taking care of her’ she said, doing her best to sound reassuring. ‘For now, that means concentrating on the kids and keeping up appearances at work. She’ll be fine Neal. I promise, Peter and I will take good care of her.’

He looked at her, doubt written all over his face. ‘But —’

She brought her hand to rest on his arm. ‘Neal, you’ve got to let us help, you're not alone here.’

He nodded, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. ‘You’ll call me if… just call me later and tell me how things are going.’

‘Promise’ El said as he turned to leave.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was somehow abandoning his wife when she needed him the most. But he knew he had to get a few hours of work done at the office and he had the kids to deal with when he got home. Until they had their appointment with Dr. Cooper, Sara was safe with El and Peter, something he was most grateful for.

He mumbled a thank you and El watched as he descended the steps of the house, back to his car with his shoulders slumped and his head down. He climbed in and headed out to Manhattan and his job and Finch and Johns. In his unusually agitated state, he never noticed the tail.

WCWCWC

Matthew Keller smiled maliciously as he followed Neal’s car – somehow, it appeared all was not hearts and flowers in the Caffrey marriage if Neal was dropping his wife off, suitcase in hand, at the Burkes. This couldn’t have worked out more perfectly. It was time to put phase two of his plan in motion.

He picked up the phone and asked for room 806. 

‘You’re on’ he said simply.

WCWCWC

Sara made her way up to the guest room, feeling totally lost. She put away the few articles of clothing she’d brought with her and sat on the edge of the bed in the Burkes’ guest room, wondering what the hell she was doing there. In the distance, she could hear the mumbled sound of Neal and El’s voices wafting up from the foyer and she wiped the tears running down her face.

This was all kinds of wrong. Her children were at a friend’s house being cared for and her husband was heading off to work while she sat paralyzed and feeling totally useless. Why couldn’t she just snap out of it, whatever _it_ was? She was smart, self-sufficient, resourceful and yet, in this, she felt totally inept, unable to figure out how to resolve the situation let alone decide something as simple as what to have for lunch. She’d never felt such despair and she didn’t have the first idea how to get herself out of this mess.

‘Hey, you okay?’ came El’s voice from the doorway.

The sight of her best friend brought on another flood of tears and Sara looked up at her and shrugged.

Elizabeth Burke had been an unexpected ally over the past few years, a true friend and confidant. She could always be trusted to tell it like it was, without any sugar-coating. Sara owed her the same level of honesty.

‘No’ she cried. ‘I’m not.’

Elizabeth made her way to sit by her friend, taking her hand in hers.

‘El, what’s happening to me? Am I going crazy?’

‘No’ Elizabeth said reassuringly. ‘You’re not going crazy. You’re depressed. It happens to a lot of women after they have a baby.’

‘You think maybe… you think maybe it’s post-partum depression?’ Sara asked, having avoided saying the words out loud for weeks now.

El nodded. ‘I do’ she said, seeing the look of terror on her best friend’s face. ‘Honey, it’s not taboo, it happens a lot and it can be treated.’

‘But I’ve never been depressed before… even after my parents died, after Emily left. I just… carried on.’

‘Sara, it’s complicated. I don’t know why it’s happening but the hormones, the stress you’ve been under since Neal’s accident. It’s been an awful lot for you to deal with and now you need to get some help, that’s all.’

Sara shook her head and let out another loud sob. ‘I just feel so helpless and I feel so guilty. I love Neal and the kids but I just can’t seem to get excited about anything and I don’t understand why’ she admitted, finally letting the dam burst as her fears and worries came tumbling out.

‘I know honey.’

‘And Liam...’ suddenly the tears turned to loud breathy sobs. ‘I don’t feel anything when I hold him.’

Finally, it was out, the dirty little secret she’d been harbouring for weeks now – the one thing she couldn’t share with Neal and that she’d been holding back for fear of being judged. When Liam had been born, weeks earlier, both she and Neal had been thrilled. But as the weeks passed, she’d begun to feel uneasy around him, seeing him as a shackle and a burden. He had so many needs which she was expected to meet at a moment’s notice and somehow he had become this encumbrance as time went on and she was left alone to deal with him.

Elizabeth took a deep breath as she reacted to Sara’s admission. Although it was difficult to hear, she could only imagine how hard it had been for Sara to share how she was feeling.

‘Sara, those areall symptoms of depression. There are treatments available. Maybe medication, I don’t know. You have to let Dr. Cooper help you and stop fighting it’ she said as she opened up her arms to her friend.

Sara let out one more mournful howl and threw herself in her arms.

‘I’m so scared’ she cried.

WCWCWC

Neal sat at his desk, feeling uncharacteristically frazzled. There were issues he needed to deal with at work but he was having trouble concentrating on the task as his mind wandered back to the haunted look in Sara’s eyes when he’d left her at the Burkes. He felt as if he’d deserted her somehow although he knew she was in good hands with Peter and Elizabeth and he was acutely aware that his job was to keep their family together as they worked through this. He picked up the phone to check on the kids, unable to keep his mind on work.

‘Hi Neal, no need to worry’ said Donna Mason on the other end of the line. ‘They’re both fine.’

Donna and Jeff Mason were good friends to the Caffreys and parents to Hope’s best friend, Olivia.The girls were inseparable and over the years, the couples had gladly exchanged childminding services as needed. But Liam was so tiny still and Neal felt bad about leaving him, even with someone as trustworthy and kind as Donna.

‘I can’t tell you how much we appreciate this’ he said. ‘I’ll be back by five, if that’s okay.’

‘That’s fine, Neal. Look, I know you guys are going through some stuff right now and I don’t want you to worry about the kids, okay? You were there for us last year when Jeff was in the hospital. We owe you, please don’t give it a second thought. Just… just take care of Sara.’

Neal relaxed, thanking her and he hung up, finally turning his attention back to his computer screen.He had just finished reading his first e-mail when he heard a commotion in the outer office, the sound of his assistant’s voice followedby the vaguely familiar voice of another woman.

He looked up to find Joyce standing in the doorway to his office. ‘Neal, there’s someone here to see you, A Ms Young? she added as Neal looked up, surprised.

Michelle Young poked her head in, looking like a million bucks. She was wearing a tailored business suit with a fuchsia coloured blouse, her hair perfectly coiffed and a very broad smile on her lips.

‘Michelle?’ Neal said, puzzled, as Joyce turned to leave, closing the door behind her. ‘How did you find me?’

With a flourish, Michelle produced the Finch and John’s pen he’d handed her back at the hotel, her smile growing even broader, if that was at all possible.

‘You shouldn’t give people a pen inscribed with your place of employment if you don’t want them to know where to find you’ she said, her voice playful and her eyelids fluttering.

Neal sighed at the sight of the pen, having totally forgotten he’d never gotten it back from her.

‘Since you hadn’t called, I thought I’d take the bull by the horns and come to you. I’m sure you could do with a break for lunch and I don’t have an appointment until three so... ‘

He opened his mouth to reply and she put her hand up to stop him. ‘And I won’t take no for an answer’ she said, stepping into his personal space and lacing her arm in his.

‘But, I’ve got a lot going on...’ Neal began, once again interrupted by his insistent ex.

‘We all do, Neal. But I haven’t seen you in almost twenty years and I want to hear all about what’s going on with you… and you _do_ have to eat’ she said, pull him towards the door.

He sighed. After all the mixed emotions of the last little while, she was definitely a breath of fresh air. It might be nice to take a short break and share lunch with an old friend, someone with whom he didn’t have any baggage.

What harm could it possibly do, he thought, as he let himself be led away.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

The Blue Fin was a cosy little bistro two blocks over from Finch and Johns and Neal and Michelle made their way there, arriving just as the lunch crowd was getting going. They were seated in a booth at the back of the restaurant away from the larger tables where office crowds tended to congregate for what often turned out to be loud celebrations.

Neal couldn’t quite put his finger on why he wasn’t feeling quite right about the situation. Being out to lunch with a beautiful woman while his life was in such disarray didn’t seem right but he reasoned that bumping into Michelle had been totally unexpected and it couldn’t hurt to catch up with an old friend who would be leaving town in a day or two anyway. It was an opportunity to set aside his worries for an hour and find out what Michelle had been up to since they parted ways. He snuck a peek at her as she perused the menu and thought back to easier times, twenty years ago.

_‘You’ve got paint on your nose’ giggled Michelle as she reached to touch his face, deliberately smearing the paint even more._

_He laughed heartily, realizing what she had done and putting a healthy dollop of Cerulean blue on her cheek as he tackled her by pulling her onto the bed. Neal’s apartment was tiny but he still found a way to have a full sized easel as well as paint supplies. The couple spent a lot of time there since they’d met – just hanging out, painting and having amazing sex at the drop of a hat. At twenty, life was easy; all you needed to think about was living for today. There were no worries about the future just living fully in the moment._

_‘You’re hurting me!’ she shouted playfully, pushing him away._

_‘Oh no, you’re not getting away from me that easily’ Neal said as he planted a long lingering kiss on her lips, instantly shutting her up and making her moan._

‘What’s good here?’ Michelle asked, returning Neal to the here and now.

‘Huh?’ he asked, his mind still momentarily stuck in the past.

‘The menu, what do you recommend?’ she asked, flashing him that winning smile.

‘Hum, I’ve only been here a couple of times. I’ve had the tuna melt, it was good and...’ he said as he began studying the menu.

‘All right, tuna melt it is’ she said decisively. ‘So, start talking, we’ve only got a little while to catch up on twenty years.’

Neal laughed. There were definitely parts of the past twenty years he would be more than happy to fast forward through but he was feeling rather forlorn and he realized it felt good to have someone to talk to – someone who wasn’t aware of his present predicament and wouldn’t judge him. 

‘Well, it’s been quite a ride, that’s for sure’ he began, rather cryptically. ‘What about you?’

‘Me?’ said Michelle. 

She had the luxury of telling him any story she wanted to.Although Keller had given her a cover and a bogus reason to be in New York, she was free to tell Neal any made-up story she wanted in order to get closer to him.

‘Well, it hasn’t always been easy, that’s for sure. I was in a bad relationship for a while and that played havoc with my self-confidence but I managed to get out of it and get my life back on track. I went back to school to study interior design and after clawing my way to the top of the heap, I’ve managed to get my small company off the ground’ she said, half-truth, half-lie.

Neal reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out the business card she had given him previously. _‘Young Designs’_ it read with offices in Los Angeles and Chicago. 

‘Impressive’ he commented as he placed it back in his pocket.

‘What about you?’ she asked, pointing to his wedding band.

‘Well, I’m married to a terrific woman and we have two children, a five year old and a newborn baby’ he said, proudly.

‘What about work?’ she asked as the waitress placed her sandwich in front of her.

‘I was home for a few years with our daughter but I recently started working as an art authenticator with Finch and Johns. They recover stolen art and artifacts and I ensure that they’re the real thing’ he said, rather proudly. The truth was that Neal loved his job and he was glad his con-man days were well behind him.

‘Wow, that sounds very glamorous’ she said as she stopped eating in order to stare at him.

Neal looked back at her, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. ‘What?’ he asked.

‘Nothing… you just look great and it’s so nice to see you again’ she said, touching his hand briefly.

‘What about you? Husband?Kids?’ Neal asked, trying to deflect attention away from himself. He had no particular interest in sharing everything about his past, particularly his years at Sing Sing and his time as a criminal informant. He wasn’t lying exactly, just selecting which parts of his life he was willing to share with an ex.

‘No, no time for that’ she said ‘I’m always travelling and it wouldn’t be fair to be in a relationship. I prefer to have little adventures along the way, no complications, you know.'

No complications, Neal thought. That was kind of the opposite of what his life was about right now.

‘So…’ she continued. ‘I want to hear all about your wife and kids.’

‘Well, my wife’s name is Sara and she also works in recovery for a large insurance company here in New York, Sterling Bosch’ he volunteered.

‘I’ve heard of them’ said Michelle.

‘She’s been there… well, close to fifteen years now and we’ve been married for going on five’ he added.

‘Well, she’s a very lucky lady’ said Michelle as she looked into Neal’s eyes, lingering just a little too long.

‘We’ve got two great kids, Hope just turned five and we have a six week old baby boy, Liam’ said Neal a smile spreading on his lips as he thought proudly of his kids.

‘Do you have any pictures?’ she asked, leaning in.

‘Sure’ he replied, pulling out his wallet and displaying a few pictures of the kids and one of him and Sara, taken on their latest anniversary.

‘Wow, your wife is beautiful’ said Michelle as she took in the sight of Sara on Neal’s arm.

‘She is... and she’s terrific’ he added, a little hesitantly.

‘Why do I have a feeling you’re not telling me everything?’ Michelle asked, hoping to exploit the small hesitation she had picked up on.

Neal shook his head and took a bite of his salad. He didn’t know if he wanted to share what was going on in his life right now, although he was having trouble concentrating on anything else. Then again, Michelle was an old friend and she might have some insight to share with him.He took a deep breath before continuing.

‘It’s just... well, things are a little tough right now… you know, since the baby was born’ he said, wondering if he was doing the right thing sharing such intimate information.

Michelle was a smart lady and taking full advantage of the opportunity, she plunged ahead, hoping her hunch was right. ‘Well, my sister had post-partum depression after her last baby was born and she had a hell of a time getting back to normal’ she lied.

She could tell right away that she had hit pay dirt when she saw Neal’s face. Bingo! He became uneasy and he looked away, hoping to change the subject.

‘So, tell me about this client of yours. Some snooty millionaire on the Upper East Side?’ he asked, navigating away from the sensitive subject.

‘Look, Neal’ she said, her voice growing serious. 'My brother-in-law went through hell when my sister was sick and I did my best to support him. If you want to talk about it, I’m here.’

She set her hand on top of his and he instinctively pulled away. ‘We’ll be fine. We just need to get through the next little while and I’m sure Sara will feel better’ he said. ‘But thanks... anyway.’

They chatted some more over coffee, Neal aware that he had things to do at the office and they wrapped up lunch and prepared to go their separate ways. He had to admit it had been nice to see her again after all this time. She brought back memories of a much simpler time, a time when they were young and carefree. They said their goodbyes, wishing each other well before heading out. She hugged him tightly before watching him walk away, back to his office to finish up his day. 

Neal wrapped up a few things before heading back to his other life, his _real_ life, the one that meant the most to him and was causing him the most heartache at the moment. He swung by the Masons, to pick up the kids, making his way home to get them sorted for dinner. He’d promised Sara that he would bring them by for a visit and he didn’t want to disappoint her so by 6:30 they were in the car on the way to Brooklyn.

WCWCWC

‘Hi, honey’ squealed Elizabeth as she opened the door to Hope standing there.

‘Hey’ said Neal as he set the baby carrier on the floor in the foyer, watching as his daughter ran towards the kitchen in search of Satchmo and her uncle Peter. ‘How’s it going?’

Elizabeth shrugged. ‘You know… ups and downs. But she did have a bit of dinner.’

Neal waited for her to say more. ‘She’s really trying Neal but every once in a while, she has a meltdown.’

He nodded. Sadly, he knew all too well what El was talking about. He’d been on the receiving end of those meltdowns for a few weeks now. He looked up to find Sara at the top of the stairs, looking down at him with a small nervous on her face. She’d made the effort to dress and put on some makeup which Neal took as an encouraging sign.

‘Hey, Repo!’ he called out as she took the last few steps to the first floor landing. ’You look great!’ he added as he took her in his arms to hug her. She reciprocated and Neal took that as encouragement.

‘Mommy!’ Hope called out from the kitchen as she ran in carrying a popsicle, compliments of her doting uncle Peter.

‘Hey sweetie!’ Sara said, putting out her arms to hug her daughter.

El and Peter excused themselves to take Satchmo out, giving the Caffrey family some time alone and Neal and Sara sat on the couch as Liam began to fuss. Neal instinctively went to the diaper bag to pull out a bottle but Sara stopped him, putting up her hand.

‘It’s okay Neal, I’ll breastfeed him.’

Over the last two weeks as Sara had become more withdrawn, they’d begun to give Liam formula to complement the once a day feeding he got directly from his mom. Neal was pleased at Sara’s offer and he took Liam out of the carrier and brought him over, placing him in his mom’s arms.

‘Mommy, why are you staying here instead of coming home?’ Hope asked from nearby.

Apparently, the explanations Neal and Sara had given her the night before had left her confused and Sara spoke up, wanting to reassure her.

‘Honey, remember we talked about it last night? I’m just really tired and I can’t take very good care of you and Liam at the moment’ she said as Liam continued to nurse in her arms.

Neal looked on sadly. Unfortunately, that was it, in a nutshell.

WCWCWC

‘I got some really good shots’ said Matthew Keller as he spread the photographs out on a table in Michelle’s suite.

She looked down, glimpsing at Neal and herself in various poses, hugging at the Plaza, gently touching his arm, tugging on his lapel, then at the restaurant, touching his hand as they ate and finally, hugging on the corner of West 47th and 8th as they parted ways. The pictures were innocuous enough except maybe in the eye of an emotional wife. They could be used to tell a variety of stories, especially when you took the time to study the look on the young woman’s face. There was just a hint of intimacy and there was no mistaking that the blond woman photographed was very taken with the man she was with.

‘So, I’ll just get these to the lovely Ms Ellis and we can talk about phase three’ he said as he put them back in the envelope for safe keeping.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

On Thursday afternoon at 1:30, Neal Caffrey packed up his things and left his office in downtown Manhattan in order to go pick up his wife for her doctor’s appointment. He’d been looking forward to the meeting with Dr. Cooper all week, a glimmer of hope in an otherwise dark, scary tunnel. He knew that the good doctor would find a way to make Sara understand there were solutions to her present predicament - as a matter of fact, he was counting on it.

Sara appeared rather positive on the drive over, certainly more talkative than Neal had seen her in weeks. She sat in the car and actually chatted with him about the kids, asking about how things were going at work. She hadn’t shown an interest in anything in a while and Neal happily chatted with her as they rode through the streets of Brooklyn making their way to the medical clinic.

Shortly after their arrival, Sara was invited back to the doctor’s office and Neal awkwardly rose in the waiting room, standing by his wife in anticipation. They hadn’t discussed whether or not he would be invited to go in with her and he didn’t know what her preference was although he had been hoping to be included in the conversation.

The receptionist put an end to the suspense. ‘Mr. Caffrey, you can wait here. The doctor will let you know when you can go in’ she said, directing him to take a seat.

Neal looked up expectantly at Sara, giving her an encouraging wink as he watched her walk away.

WCWCWC

‘Hi Sara!’ Dr. Cooper said in greeting. ‘It seems I just saw you a few weeks ago.’

‘You did’ Sara replied, unable to quite look the doctor in the eye. 'Liam’s only six weeks old.’

‘Neal came in to see me on Monday’ the doctor confessed. Honesty was always the best policy and she wasn’t about to hide the fact that Neal had initiated the appointment although that was no news to Sara.

‘I know… I feel like my daddy made a doctor’s appointment for me’ said Sara, laughing nervously.

‘Well, he’s the furthest thing from being your daddy but he does love you very much and he’s worried that you havent been feeling well lately’ said Dr. Cooper, putting all the cards on the table.

Sara let out a deep, weary sigh. This was definitely more difficult than she thought it would be. As with all things in her life, she had the need to appear competent and in charge but she began to feel quite the opposite as she felt the familiar welling of tears in her eyes.

‘Sara, this is no time to be stoic. You need to tell me what’s going on.’

‘I really… I really don’t know. That’s the truth, Dr. Cooper. All I know is… nothing feels right’ she stammered.

‘Are you having trouble sleeping?’

Sara nodded silently.

‘And what about your appetite?’

Sara shook her head; she took absolutely no pleasure in food these days.

‘Neal says you’re crying a lot. Is that true?’

Sara put up her hands up in a gesture of surrender as the tears continued to flow.

‘Sara, those are all classic symptoms of postpartum depression. Tell me about the baby, how’s he doing?’ the kind doctor asked.

‘That’s the worst part, Dr. Cooper. You know how long it took us to get pregnant and how excited we were’ Sara said, hesitating. ‘He’s perfect but… now that he’s here… I just don’t understand. It’s like I can’t connect with him… and I feel so guilty.’

At this, Sara’s crying morphed into loud, uncontrolled sobs as Dr. Cooper pushed a box of tissues in her direction, urging her to take one.

‘Sara, that doesn’t make you a bad mother. Depression is something you can’t control or make disappear on you own. You’ve done nothing wrong.’

The blubbering continued as Dr. Cooper leaned over to take Sara’s hand.

‘But there is treatment available’ she continued. ‘We need to talk about where we go from here.’

Neal was eventually invited to join them as they discussed the types of medication that could be of help to Sara as well as their side effects. Counselling was discussed and encouraged by Dr. Cooper who recommended that they do it together, as a couple. The more the discussion wore on, the more Sara’s mood soured and by the time they left the clinic, to Neal’s great despair, she had reverted to being sullen and uncommunicative.

They drove back to Brooklyn in awkward silence. Although they were armed with a prescription for an anti-depressant, Sara had not yet agreed to start taking it and Neal knew that until she did, things would not be getting any better. Sara’s concern, that the medication might impede her mental capacities, although understandable, was standing in the way of her getting a grip on this illness and Neal was growing increasingly frustrated by her obstinate refusal to consider taking it.

Dr. Cooper had encouraged them to go for couples counselling which she deemed to be another essential part of the healing process. Despite Neal’s eagerness to follow through on her advice, Sara had totally mixed the idea, saying she wasn’t comfortable with sharing their intimate relationship with a complete stranger. For the umpteenth time in their relationship, Neal reflected on the wonderful and annoying dichotomy that was Sara Ellis - her determination and tenacity, qualities he deemed to be her most endearing were also her inevitable downfall and he cringed at the thought that she was impeding her own recovery due to her stubbornness.

There was still so much to do in order to get her on side and Neal could feel himself growing disheartened and exhausted. He insisted Sara stay at the Burkes for another few days while he worked things out and Sara could sense that, despite his usually patient and understanding nature, Neal was growing irritated.

They parted ways rather uneasily and Neal made his way back to White Plains to pick up the kids over at the Masons. It was 4:30, still an hour before he needed to think about dinner. Perhaps they could do with a little fresh air. He placed Liam in his stroller and took Hope by the hand as they all headed to the nearby park for a little distraction before dinner. It was a beautiful summer day, not too hot and Hope took no time getting settled in the sandbox where she met up with a couple of her little friends from the neighbourhood.

Neal sat on the park bench, breathing deeply, trying to shake his annoyance at his wife and watching as children played and squealed nearby. It wasn’t like him to be angry with his wife — she was the one who usually flew off the handle — and he couldn’t remember ever being this livid before. Despite his frustration, he hated the way they’d left things and he reached for his phone, dialling Sara’s cell phone number.

‘Sara? Honey, it’s me’ he said as her voicemail came on. ‘Look, I’m sorry about how we left things. We need to talk. How about I come over tomorrow afternoon?’ He hesitated for a moment. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll find a way to work things out.’

He was just about to hang up when he thought better of it. ‘I love you’ he added as his voice cracked.

Dammit, she could push his buttons like nobody else. He spotted Hope on a nearby swing and waved to her, forcing a smile. He took in his surrounding, watching as people slowly started to leave the park, ostensibly to go home for dinner. He peeked at his watch; it was going on 5:30 and the kids would be getting hungry soon. He glanced at Liam still sound asleep, aware that he would be waking up hungry and cranky any minute now.

‘Hope!’ he called out. ‘Five more minutes!’

The park was a large communal area backing onto several backyards in the neighbourhood, an enclave with no direct access to the street, just sidewalks zigzagging the green space. Off in the distance, he spotted a familiar form headed in his direction and his eyes widened in recognition at the sight of Michelle Young, walking along one of the paths, cell hone in hand, reading a text. He’d thought for sure he wouldn’t run into her for another twenty years, if ever.

‘Michelle?’ he called out. ‘What are you doing out here in suburbia?’

She looked up, equally surprised.

‘Neal… what the hell… I was supposed to have dinner with an old friend of mine over on Pineview’ she said pointing vaguely in the direction of a nearby street. ‘But she just texted me that one of her kids is sick and she has to cancel. Dammit, I came all the way out here and I _do_ mean, out here… Sorry… do you live around here?’ she asked as she finally tucked her phone in her purse.

‘Yeah’ Neal pointed in the general direction of the home he shared with Sara and their kids. ‘Right over there, on Meadowbrook.’

‘That’s incredible!’ said Michelle, looking over to where Neal had pointed, a row of beige coloured suburban homes. ‘What are the odds?’

Hope appeared at their side. ‘Daddy, I’m hungry’ she moaned.

‘Yeah, it’s time to go’ he said as he turned to check on Liam one last time. He was still sound asleep; so far, so good.

‘You must be Hope’ Michelle said, crouching down to greet the pretty little blue-eyed girl. ‘I’m Michelle, I’m a friend of your daddy’s.’

Hope nodded. ‘You’re pretty’ she said as Michelle smiled in response.

‘You look like Barbie!’ she added as Neal looked on, rolling his eyes at the girlie comment.

‘Oh, I loved Barbie when I was a little girl’ said Michelle, giving Hope a winning smile.

‘I have lots of Barbies at home and I have the Barbie dream house’ Hope said proudly.

‘I’ve always wanted the dream house’ exclaimed Michelle.

‘You can come to our house and see it if you like, right Daddy?’ she said, looking up at her dad.

Neal shrugged rather uncomfortably - what could he possibly answer but a mumbled ‘sure’.

‘I would love that!’ said Michelle taking the child’s hand.

The foursome made their way to 4788 Meadowbrook and Neal took Liam out of his stroller, preparing to warm up a bottle for him as Hope eagerly showed off her collection of Barbie dolls to the newcomer as Michelle looked on, duly impressed.

‘Would you like a glass of wine?’ Neal asked, feeling slightly awkward about having another woman in the house while Sara was away.

‘That’d be great, thanks’ she replied. She made her way to sit at the kitchen island where Neal was beginning to prepare dinner.

‘Can Michelle stay for dinner?’ asked Hope, seemingly taken with the pretty blonde.

Neal looked at his daughter. ‘I’m sure Michelle has better things to do than sit here and eat tuna casserole.’

‘No, I’d love to stay’ the woman said, pasting on a huge grin. ‘Tuna casserole happens to be one of my favourites.’

Neal shrugged in agreement. Now, what had he gotten himself into?

The threesome settled in to eat once Liam was put down for the night. The conversation was pleasant and safe, the subjects limited to things that would be of interest to a five-year-old, like favourite school subjects, favourite foods, what interior designers did for a living and Barbies, of course.

Neal tidied up while Michelle played with Hope and after a while, Hope asked if the pretty visitor could put her to bed. Twenty minutes later, Michelle reappeared, giggling.

‘Your daughter is a hoot’ she said as she took a spot next to Neal on the couch.

‘You have not idea’ Neal replied with a chuckle.

‘Neal, you have a lovely family and a lovely home. May I ask… where’s your wife?’

He took a deep breath and fiddled with the coffee cup he was holding, suddenly uncomfortable.

‘She’s just… she’s resting at her best friend’s place. Trying to get a little perspective on things’ he replied after a moment of awkward silence.

Michelle placed her hand on his arm and searched his eyes. ‘This must be so hard on you… having to take care of everything’ she said with a gentle squeeze.

‘It’s… it’s just temporary’ he said quietly although he was still feeling the sting of Sara’s refusal to take the prescribed medication and get on with the business of getting their lives back on track.

He turned to face Michelle, smiling at her as she stared into his eyes. She reached out and softly touched his cheek and he froze as images of their time together flashed in his mind. Before he could react, she leaned in and brought her lips to his, gently kissing him. He instinctively pulled away, getting to his feet in an effort to create some well needed space between them.

‘Michelle, I think you’ve got the wrong idea here’ her said, putting his hand up. ‘I love my wife very much and…’

‘I understand Neal’ she said, standing to face him. ‘But I can see the pain in your eyes and I just want you to know, I’m here for you.’

Neal let out a nervous cough. ‘Thanks… but to be honest I’m really not comfortable with you being here. Look…’ he added as he walked decisively towards the phone, picking it up to dial. ‘Why don’t I call you a cab.’

The door doorbell rang just as he hung up and Neal made his way to the font door only to find Elizabeth Burke standing there, smiling back at him.

‘Hey Neal!’ she chirped in her usual upbeat style. ‘Sorry, I should have called. I hope I didn’t wake the kids. I’m just picking something up for…’ she stopped, dead in her tracks as a pretty blond woman appeared behind Neal with a mischievous smile on her face.

‘El!’ he said, hesitantly. ‘I didn’t know you were stopping by… Huh, this is Michelle Young, she’s an old friend of mine. She just happened to drop by…’ he said, letting his voice trail before he said anything more incriminating. He could only imagine what this looked like.

‘Hi’ said Michelle, her voice animated. ‘It’s nice to meet you.’

They could hear a car horn off in the distance.

‘Oh, that’ll be my cab’ Michelle said, reaching for her purse. ‘Neal, thanks so much for dinner, it was great’ she added, brazenly kissing him on the cheek as Elizabeth looked on in utter disbelief.

‘It was nice to meet you… El’ the woman said as she finally took her leave.

Elizabeth and Neal exchanged embarrassed looks and he had the distinct impression that no matter what explanation he provided, it would never be enough to satisfy the naturally suspicious Mrs. Burke.

‘Hummm… what is it you’re looking for?’ he asked, avoiding her scrutinizing glare.

‘Sara sent me over to get her iPad’ she replied, her voice even.

‘I’ll get it for you’ he said as he walked back towards the kitchen.

‘How’s she doing tonight?’ he asked as he handed her the device.

‘She’s upset’ Elizabeth replied curtly and there was no doubt she was doing her best to make Neal feel guilty.

Mission accomplished.

‘Look, Elizabeth, it’s a long story but I can assure you it’s not the one that’s playing in your head right now’ he attempted without much success.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, turned on her heels and went off into the night.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Friday morning on Meadowbrook Street played out pretty much the same as the two previous mornings. Neal Caffrey dropped off his children at Jeff and Donna Mason’s place and he made his way to Manhattan to put in a few hours of work at his office. 

He thought ahead to his afternoon visit with Sara, wondering what mood she’d be in when he got there. Surely, Elizabeth wouldn’t add fuel to the fire by revealing to Sara that she’d found a beautiful blonde in her living room with her husband - at least, not without giving Neal the chance to explain first. That’s all Sara needed right now, some totally unrelated and innocuous situation to make her feel even more anxious than she already felt. Despite his reluctance to upset her any further, Neal decided it would be wise to let his wife know that he’d bumped into an old friend and that she’d popped by the house. Hope would certainly mention it at some point and he wanted the chance to explain that her impromptu visit had been purely innocent.

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Sara was having a good morning. After an unusually good night’s sleep, she’d decided to revisit her decision regarding the medication the doctor had prescribed; nothing would change for the better if she didn't give it a chance. She walked resolutely into the Burkes’ kitchen, finding her best friend seated at her desk, reading e-mails.

‘El, I’ve decided to give the medication a chance’ she announced as she reached for the prescription bottle by the sink.

Elizabeth got up and stood next to her friend, putting a supportive arm around her shoulder. ‘Honey, I think that’s a great idea.’ 

‘If I find that the side effects are too severe, I can always stop, right?’ Sara reasoned.

Elizabeth nodded. ‘Absolutely. Just don’t forget what the doctor said. It could take a while before you feel any better so don’t give up on it too quickly.’

They were interrupted by the doorbell and they exchanged puzzled looks; they weren’t expecting anyone until Neal’s scheduled visit in the afternoon. Elizabeth made her way to the front door to find a delivery man standing there, holding a large manila envelope in his hands.

‘Sara Ellis?’ he asked as he handed the envelope over to Elizabeth. She signed for it and madeher way back to the kitchen just as Sara finished swallowing a sip of water to chase away the pill she’d just taken.

‘It’s an envelope.., for you’ she said, rather mysteriously.

They both sat at the table and Sara gave El a look of apprehension before slowly opening the package, her jaw dropping as she spied its contents.

Inside were a half dozen 8 x 10 glossy photographs of Neal with a blond woman in various poses. Three of the photographs looked like they’d been taken in a hotel lobby. The reception desk was visible in the background and Neal was standing, facing the woman as she looked at him rather intensely, touching his arm, then in another, tugging on the lapel of his suit jacket playfully. A third picture showed the two of them hugging and if Sara had just taken the time to study her husband’s face, she would have noticed that he appeared ill at ease although the woman had her eyes closed as if she were embracing a lover.

As it was, Sara wasn't registering much except shock at the pictures which had been made to look so intimate by the photographer - whoever he was. Two more photographs seemed to have been taken in a restaurant and Sara immediately recognized the shirt and tie Neal had worn two days before, the day he’d dropped her off at the Burkes. Neal and the woman were cosily ensconced in a booth, holding hands, then in another just looking intently at each other, Neal smiling in that way she knew so well - a smile she thought he reserved just for her. Finally, there was a shot of them on a street corner, hugging warmly.

Sara knew her husband well and she trusted him; he had never given her any reason not to. Sure, Neal Caffrey had a way with the ladies, he always had and she was used to women fawning over him when they were out in public, not hesitating to flirt with him, even in her presence. But despite being charming and debonair, Neal had never crossed that line as far as she knew and her muddled mind tried to make sense of what was laid out before her. What explanation could there possible be for Neal to be out and about with this woman, especially when she was going through such a difficult time?

Peeking inside the envelope, Sara found a note at the very bottom. It was typewritten and read: _‘It looks like your husband has been busy the last few days!’_

Elizabeth continued to stare in disbelief as Sara gawked at the pictures one by one, yet again. El had instantly recognized the woman in the photographs, the very same woman who’d been hanging all over Neal the night before in the Caffrey living room. She bit her tongue. Although the photos were damning, something kept her from immediately sharing that little tidbit of information with her best friend -at least until she could talk to Neal and get some sort of explanation from him.

At the moment, she couldn’t fathom what that explanation might be but then again, this was Neal Caffrey and trouble seemed to follow him wherever he went. Sara had been out of the house for a mere forty-eight hours; surely Neal hadn’t struck up a relationship with someone new in that short time. This had to be someone Neal already knew - and if so, why was this woman resurfacing now? That was the million dollar question.

Despite her gut reaction and her own anger at Neal, Elizabeth remained calm as Sara gasped, examining the photographs one by one. In Sara’s fragile state, El needed to try to keep things from escalating and be the voice of reason.

‘Sara, I don’t know what this is all about but I _do_ know Neal. He loves you and he would never hurt you’ she said, trying to remain calm for Sara’s sake.

Sara let out a sarcastic laugh. ‘Oh, yeah? _This_ is how he would never hurt me?’ she said, pointing to the photographs.

‘Look, whatever _this_ is, there has to be a logical explanation’ Elizabeth said, watching Sara begin to fall apart. ‘Give Neal a chance to explain.’

Sara Ellis-Caffrey, at any other time of her life, would have taken the bull by the horns and barged right into her husband’s office, demanding an explanation, but fragile, depressed Sara just melted into tears and ran up the stairs, leaving Elizabeth standing there, totally bewildered.

WCWCWC

Elizabeth Burke made her way to the offices of Finch and Johns in midtown Manhattan. Sara might not have been up to confronting her husband, but she sure as hell was. She stormed in, unannounced, and threw the envelope containing the offending photographs on Neal’s desk as he took in the sight of her, face red and obviously furious.

‘Hi Elizabeth’ he said, pulling his eyes away from his computer screen and staring up at her, surprised by the intrusion. ‘What’s the matter? Is something wrong with Sara?’

El remained quiet, pointing to the envelope she’d just thrown down on his desk and he picked it up and carefully peeked inside, his face turning white as he saw the contents.

‘These were delivered to our house for Sara’ she said, her tone curt and accusing. ‘Imagine my surprise, Neal, when I saw the woman in the photographs. The very same woman I happened to find kissing you in your living room, in the house you share with your wife’ she said, her voice loud and angry.

She was sounding like the wounded party and Neal realized that if she was reacting this violently, Sara’s reaction would be all the more intense.

‘Did you tell Sara?… About last night?’ he asked nervously.

‘I care too much about Sara… and you’ she added, reluctantly, ‘…to add fuel to the fire without giving you a chance to explain. But I’m warning you, Neal, this better be good because I’m this close to telling Sara everything.’

Neal got up and made his way to the small table nearby, envelope in hand as he took in the details in the photographs, studying them one by one. Sara must be so confused; the last thing he wanted to do was upset her when she was already struggling with so much. He felt blameless in all this, although he began to mentally play back his recent encounters with Michelle, wondering how he might have handled things differently. She seemed to be popping up at the most unexpected times and he began to wonder if she’d planned any of it, beginning with the chance meeting at the hotel where she was staying. For all his sophistication and shrewdness, Neal was very trusting when it came to women and he wanted to believe things at face value, not always questioning their motives.

Elizabeth continued staring him down. ‘Start talking, Neal!’ she said, tapping her foot.

Neal began to recover from the shock and started to organize the sequence of recent events in his mind. There had to be an explanation as to why someone was out there taking photographs that had been made to look intimate when they were anything but.

‘Michelle and I were friends’ he began, taking in a deep breath. ‘All right, _more_ than friends’ he admitted.

‘We met years ago, twenty years ago to be exact, right around the time I first came to New York. We were together for about six months; we were young, life was easy.’

He paused and examined Elizabeth’s reaction.

‘I never saw her again until this week. Peter sent me to the Plaza Hotel to meet a fence who wanted to share some intel and while I was waiting in the lobby, Michelle appeared out of nowhere. She said she was in town for a few days on business… she was just there in the lobby…’

He ran his hands over the pictures from the Plaza, marvelling at how damning they looked despite their innocent nature.

‘She hugged me, and we talked for about… I don't know… three minutes? She asked me for a pen to write down her cell number on her business card and she mentioned that she wanted to get together for lunch. But Elizabeth, I had no intention of following up on it - you know, with everything going on… I just thought it was nice to see her after all this time and I said goodbye. I mean, look at my face’ he said, pointing to the photograph of the two of them embracing. ‘I was totally taken by surprise when she hugged me.’

Elizabeth had to admit that Neal’s face looked rather uncomfortable in the picture whereas the woman’s eyes were closed and her touch, intimate. She wanted Neal’s explanation to make sense but she was reserving judgement until he finished explaining - especially as it related to what she’d seen in the Caffrey living room the night before.

‘On Wednesday, she showed up here unexpectedly. I hadn't even told her where I worked but I’d handed her a Finch and Johns pen so she could write her number down and I’d just… I hadn’t asked for it back. I guess she put two and two together and she just showed up here, insisting we go for lunch and catch up. I tried to protest, but anyway, I gave in… and we went up the street for lunch. That was it. One hour… we caught up on the last twenty years. She told me about her job, I talked about Sara and the kids - you know, just catching up… and then we each went our separate ways’ he said, his mind now beginning to clear.

Elizabeth began to relax as she took the chair next to Neal. She could see he was trying hard to figure out what was happening himself.

‘But who would do this?’ she asked. ‘Who would follow you around and take pictures of you?’

Neal shook his head in disbelief, wondering what Michelle’s role might be. Their encounters had seemed innocent enough but these pictures were proof that someone wanted to create problems for him and Sara.

‘Then, yesterday, I bumped into her again’ Neal said, as it began to dawn on him that their little encounter might have been anything _but_ accidental.

‘I took the kids to the park before dinner and there she was - again’ he said, shaking his head. ‘It sounded plausible at the time but now…’

Elizabeth continued to study him, urging him to continue.

‘She said she happened to be in the neighbourhood to have dinner with a friend of hers but that the friend had cancelled at the last minute. She told me her friend lived over on Pineview which is just two streets over from our place and I had no reason to think she was making it up… Do you think she’s been playing me all along?’ he asked, the thought suddenly dawning on him.

Elizabeth shrugged. ’Why though?’

‘Well, for this - to cause trouble in my marriage’ Neal said, not really believing what he was saying.

‘But why would an old girlfriend show up after twenty years and try to cause a rift between you and Sara? It doesn't make any sense’ said Elizabeth.

‘So tell me. How did she end up at your place last night? she asked.

‘She and Hope started talking about Barbies and the next thing I knew, Hope was asking if Michelle could come over and then… I’ve been a fool, haven’t I?’ Neal said suddenly.

Elizabeth looked at poor Neal, so hapless when it came to women and their feminine wiles.

‘And just before you dropped in last night…’ Neal added sheepishly and in the interest of full disclosure, ‘…I had just called her a cab because… she kissed me. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her being there and I asked her to leave.’

‘Neal, this story is hard to believe’ said Elizabeth, pausing. ‘But it’s you and I believe you.’

‘El, I’ve got to get this sorted out’ he said, standing and putting on his jacket.

‘What are you going to do?’ she asked.

‘I’m going to go talk to Sara and then, I’m going to confront Michelle’ he said as he stormed out.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

‘One last intimate encounter should do it’ said Matthew Keller as he and Michelle Young sat discussing strategy in her hotel room.

‘Don’t you think those photographs were enough?’ she asked.

Truth was, she was beginning to feel bad for Neal. He’d looked miserable when he’d talked about his wife’s condition and she thought their little scheme had put them through enough misery, as it was. In Sara’s place, she’d be plenty pissed off receiving an envelope with pictures like these – especially if she wasn’t in the best place emotionally. 

Michelle knew it was just a question of time before Neal came looking for her to get some sort of an explanation and she wasn’t looking forward to having to lie to him once again about her role in this charade.

‘You underestimate this couple’ said Keller, disgust dripping from his voice. ‘They’ve been through a lot and they’re solid plus Caffrey will find a way to talk his way out of this. He always does. No, now that the doubt has been planted, we need Ms Ellis to find her husband in ‘flagrant délit’ as the French say.’

Michelle looked at Matthew Keller, puzzled.

‘In the act’ he exclaimed.

‘What? You actually think I can get Neal into bed with me? Now, you’re overestimating _my_ charms. He pushed me away when I tried to kiss him last night. He obviously loves his wife and it’s going to take a lot more than me batting my eyelashes at him to get him to cheat on her.’

‘Oh, ye of little faith’ said Keller deviously. ‘I have secured some extra help with phase three and believe me, not only will you get Neal Caffrey in your bed but his wife will walk in and find you two together’ said Keller, eyes sparkling with mischief.

WCWCWC

Neal and Elizabeth made their way back to Brooklyn. Neal wanted the chance to talk to Sara, to make sure she was all right before he headed out to the Plaza to confront Michelle about her part in this sordid affair. He knew his wife would be livid and in her present state, he wasn’t sure what kind of reaction to expect.

His hunch was right. The moment they stepped into the house, he could tell Sara was anything _but_ all right. She sat on the couch in the Burke’s living room, her back straight asan arrow, her face impassive and her bag packed, sitting right by the front door. When they entered, she rose to greet them, her face emotionless, her eyes empty. She walked up to him and before he could utter a single, solitary word, she delivered a stinging slap across his cheek without even a blink.

‘I am going home now, Neal but _you are not_! I don’t know when I’ll be ready or if I’ll _ever_ be ready to talk to you but don’t you _dare_ show your face at home until I tell you to’ she said, her voice dispassionate yet stronger than he’d heard it in weeks.

Neal was so taken aback, he was rendered speechless. He knew his wife well and if past experience was any indication, there was absolutely nothing to be said until she calmed down and was ready to listen.

He turned to Elizabeth who was looking on in shock and he spoke softly. ‘Will you please make sure she’s okay?’ he said.

Then he calmly turned and walked out the door.

WCWCWC

When he arrived at the Plaza Hotel shortly after four thirty, Neal headed straight for the reception desk. 

‘Could you check and see if Michelle Young is in her room?’ he asked, slightly breathless.

‘Ms Young went out for a while’ said the person at the desk.

‘When she gets back, could you please tell her I’m waiting for her in the bar?’ Neal asked.

The cellphone number she’d left kept going straight to voicemail and Neal had made up his mind that he wasn’t leaving until he got some straight answers, even if it took all night. If Michelle was involved in some scheme to break up his marriage, he was going to call her on it and get to the bottom of it.

The bar at the Plaza Hotel was quiet at this hour and Neal took a seat near the door so he could see the comings and goings near the reception area, intent on intercepting Michelle the moment she returned. He ordered a scotch and began taking in his surroundings. A few men were sitting at the bar, chatting up the pretty barmaid and two couples were seated nearby, chatting and laughing. He, on the other hand, would have preferred to be home with his family rather than sitting in some bar, waiting to interrogate his ex so he could try to save his marriage. 

The irony was that Neal hadn’t given Michelle Young a single thought in years. After all, the great Neal Caffrey had been with dozens of women since his time with her twenty years earlier. Nowadays, all the women he’d known and even those he thought he’d loved faded in comparison to Sara Ellis, the woman who’d won his heart and who knew him, inside and out, loving him despite his many shortcomings. 

He stared down at his glass of scotch, his thoughts wandering back to his youth. He and Michelle had had a great time back then and he couldn’t quite remember what had broken them up in the first place. As far as he knew, she didn’t have a malicious bone in her body and he found it difficult to imagine that she would carry out some elaborate scheme to break up his marriage, especially when he hadn’t seen her in all those years.

His thoughts returned to Sara and how fragile she was at the moment, how her present state was in such stark contrast to the headstrong and determined woman he’d fallen in love with. Although her present vulnerabilities brought out Neal’s protective side, it was a strange and foreign feeling for him. Sara had always been self-sufficient, more than capable of taking care of herself and although she chose to share her life with him, she’d never needed to be protected or taken care of. Rather, they were equals, sharing an intimate and loving relationship, based on mutual trust and respect. But commitment meant being there when your partner was going through a rough time and this was not the first, nor would it be the last time, one of them would need the other’s support to get through a rough patch. He thought back to his terrible car accident and how he never would have found his way back to his family if Sara hadn’t stood by him every step of the way. He owed her the same consideration.

He ordered a second drink, checking his watch. Sara would be home by now and Neal worried that she might not be up to dealing with the kids. With any luck, Elizabeth would have followed her out to White Plains. He wondered in passing where he’d be spending the night. Sara had made it clear he wasn’t welcome to share their bed at home and he wondered if he should get a hotel room downtown or see if he could use the guest room she had just vacated at the Burkes.

Another hour passed, accompanied by another drink and one more lingering look through the photographs he held in his shaking hands. Neal marvelled at how an innocent encounter could be made to look so slimy, so deceitful. He thought back to the kiss Michelle had placed on his lips the night before. He had to admit that somewhere deep inside, his male ego had been stoked by the fact that this smart and beautiful woman was still attracted to him after all this time.

She suddenly appeared in front of him, Neal too lost in his own thoughts to notice her arrival. 

‘Neal, what’s going on?’ she asked, looking alarmed. ‘The desk said you’re looking for me.’ 

There was a flash of anger in his eyes and it was obvious from the look on his face that he’d had a couple of drinks. Fortified by the three scotches under his belt, Neal threw the photographs onto the table and studied Michelle’s reaction. Her eyes grew in surprise and her mouth dropped open as it dawned on her exactly what she was looking at and she let herself fall into the seat across from him as she began to study each one of the pictures, seemingly shocked at what she was seeing.

‘Where did _these_ come from?’ she asked, finally.

‘They were delivered to my wife earlier today’ Neal responded.

‘Oh, my God!’

‘I suppose you’re going to tell me you don’t know anything about these?’ he asked accusingly.

‘Of course not. How could I, Neal? I’m _in_ the pictures’ she said continuing to stare at the photographs, one by one.

‘Is someone following you?’ she finally asked, looking up at Neal.

He took the last sip of his drink and looked her straight in the eye – he’d always thought himself proficient at detecting people’s tells when they weren’t being truthful.

‘So you’re telling me you don’t have anything to do with this?’ he asked again, examining her eyes carefully.

Michelle just shook her head, seemingly too shocked to answer.

‘I need a drink’ she said as she stood to make her way to the bar.

Neal watched as she strolled across the room, her hips swaying back and forth as she went, hypnotizing him for a brief moment before he snapped out of it. If she _was_ telling the truth, she was just as much a victim as he was and it meant someone else was out to get him. He glanced nervously around the bar to see if anyone was watching them, suddenly aware that he might have been followed for some time now — to what nefarious end, he had no idea.

Michelle returned with two drinks and put down a double scotch in front of him. She took a seat next to him, turning her body to face him and his eyes were drawn to her ample cleavage as she leaned over to pick up her drink. He forced his eyes away, looking at his drink and reminding himself what he was there to accomplish: find out who was behind those photographs.

She watched his face as he surveyed the room once more. ‘You don’t think someone could be watching us right now, do you?’ she asked as she began to look around.

Neal shrugged. Right now, it felt like he couldn’t even trust his own instincts.

‘Let’s go talk up in my room. At least, we’ll be sure nobody’s listening’ she suggested as she finished her drink and stood.

Neal hesitated for a brief instant, his mind unclear. He had to fix this and to do that, he needed to piece together the events of the last few days. Maybe Michelle could help him with that; right now, she was all he had.

He downed his drink in one fell swoop and followed her up to her room.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Sara made it back to White Plains by late afternoon and headed over to Donna and Jeff Mason’s place to pick up Hope and Liam. Although surprised to see her, Hope was thrilled to reunite with her mom; she’d missed having her around and she gladly followed her back to their house while Sara carried a sleeping Liam in his baby carrier.

Elizabeth was getting a start on dinner when they arrived. Under the present circumstances, she’d had no intention of leaving Sara on her own and she’d insisted on packing a bag and accompanying her best friend back to White Plains. El was hoping that once things settled and the kids were in bed, she would have a chance to sit down with Sara and share the conversation she’d had with Neal earlier in the day - but more importantly, she hoped Sara would be calm enough to listen.

Sara appeared to be making superhuman efforts to deal with the situation, getting dinner on the table and breastfeeding Liam before putting him down for the night. Despite the fatigue and her feelings of desperation, she appeared strong and determined and Elizabeth couldn’t help but admire her friend’s strength of character as she rose above what was happening in order to put her children’s welfare first.

‘Where’s Daddy?’ Hope asked her mom as she was tucked in.

Sara took a deep breath before answering. Whenever she and Neal had disagreements, they never involved the kids and they’d agreed, long ago, to never disparage each other in the eyes of their children, no matter what. So Hope’s daddy was a cheating, adulterous son of a bitch, thought Sara - she wasn’t about to share that information with their daughter.

‘Daddy and I had an argument so we’re just taking some time out. Nothing for you to worry about, sweetie’ Sara explained, her voice steady despite the many emotions coursing through her body.

Hope was a smart kid with a sharp mind and she knew what was happening between her parents was anything but business as usual. She wasn’t used to seeing them argue and she didn’t like it one bit. Just a few months earlier, Neal had moved out of the house for a while as he tried to work things out following his car accident and Hope recalled how confused she’d been at the time.

Not missing a beat, she turned to her mom, asking her the same question she’d asked her dad earlier in the week. ‘Are you and Daddy getting a divorce?’

Sara ran her hand through her daughter’s hair, unsure what to respond. ‘Honey, try not to worry. I love you and Daddy loves you and _that_ will never change.’

‘Michelle said sometimes people get a divorce when they stop loving each other’ said Hope, far from reassured. 

Sara frowned. ‘Who’s Michelle?’ she asked.

‘Daddy’s friend. She tucked me in last night’ said Hope, innocently.

Sara stared ahead as Hope’s words sunk in. She managed to remain calm and she leaned down to kiss her daughter goodnight despite the myriad of emotions which began bubbling to the surface.

‘Time to go to sleep, sweetie. I’ll be here when you wake up in the morning’ Sara said, her voice trembling.

She made her way downstairs, angrier than she would have thought possible as she began to come to grips with Hope’s little bombshell. Whoever this woman was, she had wormed her way into her life, into her home, all the way into her daughter’s bedroom - and Sara wasn’t having any of it.

She found Elizabeth in the kitchen and El could see that her best friend was furious.

‘She was in our house!’ Sara exclaimed, seething with rage.

She glared at Elizabeth, noticing a fleeting look of guilt and she reacted to what she saw.

‘You knew?’ she shouted accusingly.

‘Sara — ’ Elizabeth began, immediately interrupted by Sara’s tirade.

‘You knew and you didn’t tell me!’ Sara was really losing it now. ‘What? Are you in cahoots with Neal now in his sordid little love affair?’

‘Sara, stop and listen to yourself. There _is_ no sordid little love affair. I think someone’s toying with you and Neal’ explained Elizabeth as patiently as she could.

Sara stared at her best friend, eyes wild. Generally, Elizabeth had excellent judgement and could be relied on for sound advice on a variety of issues, not the least of which was Sara’s sometimes complicated relationship with Neal.

‘Look, Sara, I talked to Neal today. And it’s true, he _did_ bump into this woman he knew years ago. But I don’t think there’s anything sordid or devious about his relationship with her. Neal looked just as confused as you and I were when I showed him the pictures.’

‘Confused?How could he be confused?He was with her in those photographs. You can’t deny that’ Sara said, her breathing shallow.

‘You’re right, he was. But he only just bumped into her a few days ago after twenty years and I know Neal well enough to know when he’s hiding something… he just didn’t exercise very good judgement by letting her convince him to go to lunch. I think if he’s guilty of anything, it’s his usual inability to control his impulses.’

Sara took a deep breath trying hard to compute what Elizabeth was saying.

‘Sara, Neal loves _you!_ Not some floozy he bumped into after twenty years. Do you really think he'd throw away your marriage, your life as a family for a roll in the hay?’ she asked.

‘Maybe not before but the way I’ve been lately...’ Sara said, sadness in her eyes.

‘It’s going to take a lot more than a few weeks of hard times for Neal to turn his back on you. Hasn’t he proven that to you time and time again?’

Sara thought back to all the times she and Neal had disagreed and how she’s pushed him away when she was going through her chemotherapy treatments. He had never once wavered in his commitment to her and she began to wonder if she should give him a chance to explain. Even though she wasn’t her usual, clear thinking self, she knew enough to realize that her present state of mind was due to the depression that engulfed her and she did not want to throw her marriage away on a whim.

WCWCWC

Room 806 of the Plaza Hotel had a spectacular view of Manhattan. Neal ambled in, somewhat unsteady on his feet, feeling the effects of the five scotches he’d imbibed within a couple of hours. Neal wasn’t much of a drinker, generally preferring wine to hard liquor, but this situation was way out of his comfort zone and the alcohol was taking the edge off a jumble of emotions ranging from confusion to anger.

Here he was, feeling buzzed, in a hotel room with a very attractive woman who’d been his lover years ago. Good job, Caffrey, he thought; probably not the best strategy over all. At least, they could talk openly in the privacy of the hotel room and maybe he could finally get some answers without having to worry about someone taking pictures of them as they talked.

‘Here’ said Michelle as she handed him a drink.

‘I – I think I’ve probably had enough’ he said, his voice unsteady as he took in the look of Michelle standing over him, looking sultry and inviting. 

‘And _I_ think you need to relax if you want to get to the bottom of this’ she replied.

Despite his better judgement, he took the drink, downing it in one shot, liquid courage and all.

‘Neal, I’m sorry this happened but it isn’t your fault. Your wife should know better… and she should trust you’ Michelle said, continuing to sow seeds of doubt.

She took a spot next to him on the love seat and Neal’s eyes met hers. He could see empathy there, something he knew he wouldn’t be getting from his wife anytime soon.Having this beautiful woman so close to him, her thigh brushing up against him and her mouth so inviting… it was all terribly distracting and Neal struggled to remain focussed on the situation at hand.

Michelle leaned in closer, her warm body pressed up against his. ‘Let me help you Neal, let me make you feel better’ she murmured, her voice low and soft.

Neal’s eyes remained glued to hers and she took advantage of the moment to reach over, taking his face in her hands and kissing him as Neal faltered momentarily. Her touch, the sweet scent of her perfume, her soft voice were irresistible and, contrary to the night before, he didn’t pull back. He leaned into the kiss, hungry for some human contact after weeks of rejection from Sara and his arms reached around her as he pulled her to him, the closeness dizzying and comforting.

As their lips parted, Neal opened his eyes and realized in horror what he’d just done. But worse than the actual kiss was the unexpected feeling of desire which was growing in the pit of his stomach. He stood, unstable, towering over Michelle as he came to his senses.

‘Michelle, look, I’m sorry. You’re a beautiful woman and I’m feeling really vulnerable right now but… I can’t do this. Despite everything that’s going on in my marriage right now, I love Sara and I made a solemn vow to be faithful to her. We’ve been through so much and I’ve got to find a way to get her to believe that this is all a huge mistake. She means everything to me and she needs to get better - and I need to be there to take care of her.’

Michelle let out a sigh, laced with disappointment. Despite her mission to seduce Neal, she was genuinely fond of him and found herself still attracted to him after all this time.

‘Your wife is a very lucky woman. I hope she’s worth it’ she said with regret. ‘Look, I get it. I’m sorry if I’ve put you in a difficult situation. Why don’t you sit down and we’ll see if we can work through this together. Maybe if we talk it out, we can find out who’s doing this to you and why.’

Neal looked at her through a hazy gaze and nodded. Despite the alcohol that was fogging up his mind, his resolve was strong and he was determined to resist her charms; maybe Michelle could help him now that he’d managed to fight off her advances and make his lack of interest – or at least his decision not to act on his impulses - clear.

‘Thanks. I apologize if I’ve been giving you mixed messages’ he said, moving to the armchair nearby and taking a seat.

She made her way to the bar to get them another drink and she pulled out the small packet Keller had given her – her secret weapon to get Neal into her bed. Without hesitation, she dumped the powder into Neal’s drink and stirred. She’d hoped it wouldn’t come to this. He was a good guy and he didn’t deserve this but she was so close now and she reminded herself of how the last instalment of her blood money would come in handy.All she had to do was follow through on the plan and the money was hers; she couldn’t let her growing feelings for Neal and his wellbeing weaken her resolve and cloud her judgement. She turned to find Neal, sitting upright in the armchair away from the temptation of sitting next to her and she smiled at him as she handed him the glass.

‘So, can you think of anyone who would want to do you any harm?’ she asked, keeping his mind occupied until he was sufficiently impaired for her to carry out her nefarious plan.

Neal took a mouthful of his drink and scoffed thinking of all the enemies he’d made over the years, both in prison and out. 

‘Michelle, I haven’t told you everything about my life. I did some time and I’ve worked for the FBI as a criminal informant. Believe me, I have _tons_ of enemies’ he slurred as he took another swallow from the doctored drink she’d handed him.

‘What kind of enemies?’ she asked, taking a seat across from him.

‘An assortment of bad guys’ he said, laughing sardonically.

His eyes were beginning to glaze over as he spoke and Michelle continued to study him and wait patiently for the moment when his resistance would disappear and she could make her move.

‘And... you know...’ Neal continued as he took another sip, his thoughts becoming jumbled and unclear. ‘I’m no angel, myself.’

Michelle stood and walked over to where Neal was sitting, noticing his eyes were beginning to droop, his senses dulled by the drug he had just ingested.

‘Here’ she said handing him the glass. ‘Finish your drink.’

Neal obeyed and Michelle moved in closer, straddling him on the chair as he sat there, shocked. She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately as Neal totally melted to her touch, no longer capable of fighting her off.

‘M’chelle... no’ he said weakly as he began to clue in to the fact he’d been drugged.

‘I... don’t ... feel so well’ he finally said as she continued kissing his neck and running her hands through his hair. She was enjoying the seduction of Neal Caffrey; he was a very sexy guy and he had been a very attentive lover although she realized that he was presently in no fit state to actively participate in any lovemaking she might initiate.

‘Come on, baby’ she murmured. ‘Let’s get you over to the bed.’

In a few minutes, he would be out cold and she wasn’t in any position to carry a one hundred and seventy-five pound man even the short distance to the king sized bed that dominated the suite. With some coaxing and support, Neal got to his feet, wavering and hanging on to Michelle so he wouldn’t fall. She guided him over to the large bed and he let himself fall, all muscle control now lost.

‘Sara… Sara…’ he moaned as she placed him in the bed and prepared to join him. It was the final act of their little charade and she had to make it look good for the arrival of his missus — an arrival which was imminent.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

There was a soft knock on the connecting door to her hotel room and Michelle Young made her way over, letting in an anxious looking Matthew Keller. 

‘Come on in, he’s out like a light’ she said as she opened the door.

Matthew Keller took one look at Neal Caffrey, passed out on the bed, and smiled a conniving, deceitful smile. Now, he had his ex-partner exactly where he wanted him – unconscious, totally vulnerable and at his mercy. 

‘Hurry up and change and get into bed with him, I want to take a few special shots before I call his wife’ he said, deviously.

‘Why?’ Michelle asked. 

She was beginning to feel like a whore, prostituting herself for a few measly bucks. Truth was, she cared about Neal and she’d truly enjoyed spending time with him the last few days.

‘Because I want to’ Matthew Keller responded brazenly. ‘… and I want to leave them for Mrs. Caffrey so she can remember this momentous occasion, the moment when her high and mighty husband finally gave in to temptation and strayed from his marriage vows.’

‘But she’s going to see us with her own eyes. Isn’t that enough?’

‘Ah, but there’s nothing like photographs to commemorate those ‘special’ moments in life’ he said with a leer. ‘Now hurry up and change into that cute little number I got you.’

Michelle stepped into the bathroom to change her clothes while Keller walked to the bed, looming over Neal, a perpetual sneer on his face.

‘Not so high and mighty now, are you Caffrey?’ he said, hovering over his old nemesis. ‘Even the great Neal Caffrey can hit rock bottom and today is the day your wife and kids walk out on you for good.’

Neal lay on the bed, moaning softly as Keller spoke. He was mumbling something that sounded like Sara’s name and Keller laughed in response. ‘You can call her name all you want Caffrey, she’s not going to be giving you the time of day after tonight.’

Suddenly, Michelle reappeared wearing a very skimpy little number and Keller looked her up and down as she made her way back towards the bed.

‘You’re really creepy, you know that?’ she said as she slipped into bed next to Neal.

‘Now, get him out of his clothes’ he barked as she proceeded to strip Neal from the waist up, throwing his shirt and tie on the nearby chair.

Keller took a step back, surveying the situation. ‘Now, get in and slip under his arm’ he ordered as if he were the director of some cheap porno flick.

He began to give directions as Michelle placed Neal in one compromising position after another, taking care to keep Neal’s unresponsive eyes out of the shots. Keller began to check out the shots through the camera’s lens and smiled in satisfaction.

‘All right, now you two relax and I’ll send out a little invitation to Ms Ellis to come and join the party. But don’t bother fixing her a drink’ he added, laughing cruelly. ‘I have a feeling she won’t be staying very long.’

WCWCWC

‘I really want to believe what you’re saying Elizabeth, but pictures don’t lie’ Sara said, calmer than she’d been all day.

‘Pictures can be made to look very incriminating, you know that. Remember those pictures Neal took of you and Peter? Look, has Neal ever given you any reason to think he’s being unfaithful?’ Elizabeth asked, knowing full well the answer.

‘No, of course not’ admitted Sara, sheepishly.

‘And knowing everything you know about him, do you think he would choose _now_ , the moment when you’re at your most vulnerable to step out on you?’

‘I don’t know anymore, Elizabeth’ Sara moaned as she began to pace. ‘I just don’t understand why Neal would go out to lunch with a beautiful ex-girlfriend and not tell me – and then, to invite her into our home when I’m not here.It’s....’

‘You’re right, it showed very poor judgement on his part. But you know how he is, he always wants to believe the best in people.’

Elizabeth searched Sara’s eyes, hoping her words were having the desired effect. ‘Look, why don’t you just hear him out. Don’t you think you’ve got enough on your hands right now without being estranged from the one person who loves you the most?’

Sara was beginning to come around but her confidence was shaken, her judgement not what it normally was and she continued pacing the kitchen as she took in El’s words of advice. Her cell phone vibrated nearby and she instantly thought of Neal, her heart fluttering at the thought of him. She reached out to find a text from an unknown number.

_‘Your husband is waiting for you in room 806 of the Plaza Hotel’_

‘Do you think it’s from Neal?’ asked Elizabeth as her friend read the text out loud.

‘I don’t know, why would Neal use a stranger’s phone to text me and talk about himself in the third person?’ Sara asked, puzzled yet intrigued.

‘I don’t feel right about this, Sara’ Elizabeth said, moving to stand next to her best friend.

‘Look, whatever’s this is, I need to know’ Sara said as she began to gather her things.

‘Sara, I can’t let you go over there alone.’

‘But I need you to stay with the kids’ replied Sara, her eyes imploring.

‘All right, all right, just call me and let me know what’s going on. And Sara, please be careful.’

The moment she was out of the house, Elizabeth grabbed for her phone. Whatever her friend was walking into at the Plaza reeked of danger – if not physical, at least emotional. 

She dialled Peter’s number, disappointed to get his voice mail. ‘Honey, I’m worried about Neal and Sara. She just got a text telling her to go to room 806 at the Plaza Hotel and I’m afraid she’s walking into something. Can you go over and make sure she’s all right?’

Elizabeth had the feeling that whatever Sara was walking into was going to cause nothing but heartbreak.

WCWCWC

Michelle lay in bed next to an unresponsive Neal and waited patiently for the other shoe to drop. Keller had retreated to his own room as they waited for the fireworks to begin and she had strict instructions on what to do once Sara arrived. As soon as she opened the door and peered inside the room, she would get an eyeful and there would be no doubt as to what was going on.

Michelle thought back to the last few days and the time she’d gotten to spend with Neal. He was a terrific guy and he seemed to have made a success of his life despite the confession he’d let slip out a little while earlier. She’d always known he was impulsive and that he didn’t always walk on the right side of the law but she had no idea he’d done jail time or that he’d worked as a criminal informant. He didn’t strike her as the G-man type in the least she reflected as she looked over at him, lying semi-conscious on the bed.

Whatever he and Sara had looked pretty solid. From what she could tell, he was one of those increasingly rare husbands who remained faithful to their wives. She reasoned that it would have been harmless for him to have a quick roll in the hay but instead, he’d resisted her advances, not wanting to stray from the commitment he’d made to his wife. She had to admit his rebuke had bruised her ego somewhat; he’d never tried to resist her back when they were together, she mused, as she thought back to all those years ago.

_‘Neal, I’m trying to work here’ said Michelle as she held her brush unsteadily in her hand._

_Class had ended and they had stayed on so Michelle could finish her project but at the moment, Neal was more interested in getting his hands all over his girlfriend than watching her paint. He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and bringing his hands up to cups her breasts, moaning in her ear – something lewd about a certain part of her anatomy._

_‘Neal, can you not take no for an answer?’ she mumbled half-heartedly._

_‘Are you saying ‘no’ to me?’ he said playfully. ‘I can’t hear you.’_

_He continued nuzzling her neck, pulling her insistently away from the canvas she’d been working on. Michelle giggled and finally gave up, dropping the paintbrush and letting him pull her down onto the floor to have his way with her. The painting could wait._

Ever since she’d bumped into Neal at the hotel, the memories had been flooding back, fast and furious. Although their relationship had barely lasted a few months and had ended years ago, she still reflected fondly on her time with the man. How had her life gotten so off track? Meeting Brad had been the beginning of a nightmare and she thought back to all those years she’d spent letting him undermine her self-esteem, treating her like trash before finally dumping her in a pile of shame and regret as he moved on to another unsuspecting woman half her age. Neal, on the other hand, looked like a decent guy. Whatever his past, he’d managed to get himself to a place that was the envy of most - he had a good job, a beautiful wife and two great kids. She suddenly felt sleazy and dirty for agreeing to con him and ruin his life.All for a few baubles...

She continued to gaze down at him, running her hand through his hair and wondering what life might had been like if they’d stayed together – would _she_ be the one to have his undying love and devotion and two beautiful children that looked like the two of them. 

She checked the time. It wouldn’t be long before Sara arrived and no matter how uneasy she felt about it, she had a job to finish. Anyone who took the time to scrutinize the scene she’d set would be able to see that Neal was drugged and unresponsive but Keller was confident Sara would take one very quick look at the situation, draw her erroneous conclusion and run out of the room.

WCWCWC

It was close to ten o’clock by the time Sara made her way to the Plaza Hotel. She sat in the back of a cab, wondering what the hell she was doing there. She was still livid at Neal for what he’d done, yet here she was, willing to give him a chance to redeem himself. Was this some misguided grand romantic gesture on his part order to make up for his lack of judgement over last few days? And if he hadn’t sent the text, who had? Was it his fancy piece flaunting their affair in her face? 

Her train of thought was interrupted by a glimmer of reasoning – Neal with another woman just didn’t make sense. Elizabeth was right, whatever Neal was, he was loyal to those he loved. He’d steadfastly stood by her throughout the ups and downs of the past six years – her unplanned pregnancy, her brutal bout with cancer and the day to day, not so sexy humdrum tempo of their shared domestic life. He always saw the glass as half full, an eternal optimist at heart and although she knew that, like all couples, they were not immune to drifting apart over time, she was convinced that he would be honest and open about his feelings if he felt himself drifting away from her and their marriage.

At least, she’d always thought so; she was about to find out just how well she knew her husband.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

The lobby of the Plaza Hotel was quiet when Sara arrived shortly after ten. She hadn’t set foot in the place in ages - ever since that conference on recovery strategies Sterling Bosch had held there two years earlier. It was certainly a very posh hotel and she wondered once again if Neal had gotten a room here to surprise her. If so, he was going to spend a long lonely night on a very expensive mattress because she was nowhere near ready to forgive and forget. 

The events of the past twenty-four hours had forced her out of her stupor and although she was still feeling despondent and detached from her life, the present situation had spurred her into action. The children needed her and, without Neal to lean on, she had no choice but to step up to the plate and do her job as a mom. With or without him, she was determined to get better. Liam deserved a mom he could count on. 

The constant back and forth continued as Sara replayed her conversation with Elizabeth and her reassuring words about Neal’s unwavering loyalty and devotion. And yet those photographs didn’t lie. If Neal’s involvement with this woman so truly innocent, why hadn’t he said anything to her about it. 

She was reminded of an incident which had occurred early on in their relationship while she was pregnant with Hope. She’d been eight months along, feeling as big as a house and totally unattractive when she’d popped in to the Federal Bureau one day to surprise Neal for lunch. As she’d gotten off the elevator on the 21st floor, she’d spotted him by his desk chatting with a striking brunette who, by all appearances, was flirting shamelessly with him. 

Sara had hung back for a moment, eavesdropping on their conversation as she fell prey to her nagging insecurities. She could hear the two of them chatting and as always, Neal was being Neal, making mindless chitchat and batting his blue peeps as he did with every single man or woman he ever came across. 

‘So, why don’t we get a drink after work’ the pretty woman had said, fluttering her eyelashes.

Although Neal had his back to her, Sara had recognized the subtle signs of awkwardness in his body language, the way he always shrugged and looked down at the floor whenever he was uncomfortable with a situation.

‘Sorry’ he said as it dawned on him the woman might have more than a passing interest in him. ‘I’ve got plans with my girlfriend tonight. Did I mention we’re expecting a baby?’

Sara watched the woman’s face drop, disappointment obvious in her eyes.

‘I can’t wait’ Neal continued, his voice animated. ‘A baby girl… in just a few weeks. We’re both really excited.’

He seemed to pick up on her obvious look of disillusionment, eager to put her at ease. ‘But can I get you a cup of coffee?’ he’d asked, pointing to the small kitchen area nearby.

The woman smiled, grateful for his kindness even though he'd rebuked her advances. When Neal had turned around, he’d spotted Sara standing there and he'd rushed over, taking her in his arms and dragging her over to the young woman to introduce her, bursting with pride.

Over the past five years, she’d seen that same scenario play out over and over again as Neal continued to be the charming, debonair gentleman who wouldn’t hurt a fly – especially female flies – but with a firm commitment to Sara, letting all those wannabe girlfriends down easy.

She strode over to the elevator and resolutely pressed the up button. If Neal wanted to explain himself, she might be inclined to listen but she still had way too many questions to just gloss over his reckless, insensitive behaviour. Even if he was guilty of nothing more than being impulsive and naive, it was unacceptable that he hadn’t told her about this woman’s sudden appearance in his life. More than anything, what irked Sara was that this woman had been inside their home, having dinner with her husband and children while she was struggling with feelings of depression and inadequacy at the Burke house. What had Neal been thinking? He’d even invited her up into their daughter’s bedroom, letting her tuck Hope in while sharing her views on the sensitive issue of divorce!

Anger rose once again in her chest and she had to remind herself that Neal’s lack of impulse control, by far his worst feature, was also one of the things she loved most about him. It made him who he was, a man who was ready to leap into any situation at the drop of a hat in order to help those he loved, no matter the risk to himself. Damn him! Why did relationships have to be so complicated?

The elevator dinged and Sara stepped in, nervously pushing the number eight and taking a deep breath as it started to move. What was she going to find in room 806?

WCWCWC

The bed he was lying on seemed to move beneath him as Neal drifted in and out of consciousness. He felt nauseous, confused and he wasn’t sure where he was or what he was doing there. He could have sworn he’d heard Matthew Keller’s voice earlier and he attempted to pull himself up onto his elbows, only to fall back as his body gave out. In the back of his mind, he had a feeling he needed to get home but the idea wouldn’t fully form and he felt it slip away. Michelle’s face appeared, looming over him and he struggled to sit up without success before blacking out once again.

WCWCWC

Peter Burke stepped into the house, dragging a tired Satchmo behind him. Lately, the dog had begun to show signs of slowing down and he seemed to have lost the stamina he once had whenever they took him to the park. Apparently, they were _both_ getting older but that was no reason to let up on him; both he and Satchmo needed their daily walk.

He strolled over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door in search of a beer, finally making his way over to the couch to watch a little bit of the game before hitting the sack. Elizabeth wasn’t there to nag him about putting his feet up on the coffee table or setting his beer down on the table without a coaster so he did both simultaneously with a small satisfied smile on his lips.

He thought about the mess Neal had gotten himself into with this woman. It wasn’t the first time his partner had exercised poor judgement when it came to the fairer sex. The ex-con was a chick magnet, always had been, and he seemed to relish the effect he had on women. Peter couldn’t count the number of times he’d had to rein him in on a case as Neal became captivated with some pretty young thing – hell, he’d even hit on Diana when they’d first met. Of course, since he’d married Sara Ellis, Neal had worked on toning down the charm but he would always be Neal effen Caffrey, irresistible con-man extraordinaire Peter reflected, with just a touch of envy.

His ex-CI was infamous for his impulsive reactions to people and situations, always acting with good intentions although things didn’t always work out quite the way he planned. Peter reflected on all those cases where Neal dove in head first without a thought for his own safety. Peter had no doubt as to Neal’s devotion to Sara but he also knew how easily his partner could dig a hole for himself and he resolved to stay well away from any domestic issues in the Caffrey marriage unless Neal specifically asked for his advice. And even then...

Despite the man’s many flaws, there was no denying Peter was proud of Neal, the kind of pride a man might have for his baby brother’s accomplishments. He admired Neal for having overcome countless obstacles and making a good life for himself. Ever since Neal had been off anklet, he’d practically become a model citizen. Practically. Sure, he still hung around Mozzie, helping him out on small time capers from time to time, but even Mozzie had mellowed over the years and had become more of a nuisance to Peter than any real menace.

Neal had proven he could be trusted and despite evidence to the contrary, Peter knew without a shred of doubt that his best friend had his back and would _always_ have his back. But getting involved in Neal’s domestic life was where Peter drew the line. Peter had learned over time, and through a brutal process of trial and error, how to keep his wife happy and he lived and died by the motto _‘Happy wife, happy life’_ which included feet off the furniture and coasters for his beer bottle whenever El was around.

Neal, on the other hand, although madly in love with his wife, seemed to always get himself into complicated situations. If there was a simple trajectory to get from point A to point B, you could be certain that Neal Caffrey would opt for the more tortuous, convoluted path, usually flirting with danger on his way there. Luckily, there was unwavering trust in that marriage as evidenced by Sara’s unflustered reaction to the numerous women who had literally thrown themselves at her husband over the years. It took a strong, confident woman to overcome any doubts as to her husband’s faithfulness and devotion and Sara Ellis was just that woman. 

Unfortunately, Peter could see that Sara’s present condition made her much more vulnerable and he hoped that somehow, Neal wouldn’t choose this particular moment in time to mess things up. Sara’s usual panache and self-confidence were sadly missing in action and she would be apt to react much differently to any perceived lack of judgement on Neal’s part.

By 11:30, he was starting to nod off and he took a cursory look around the place, checking that the doors were locked and the stove was turned off before making his way to his lonely bed. He hated it when Elizabeth wasn’t curled up next to him and he never slept quite as soundly when she wasn’t there. He walked over to his phone, intending to plug it in for the night when he noticed he had a message.

WCWCWC

Michelle Young looked around the suite Matthew Keller had provided for her and let out a long, wet sigh. This guy must really hate Neal Caffrey to do this to him. Here she was in a beautiful room in downtown Manhattan with a gorgeous guy next to her in bed yet it was all wrong. She felt the urge to run. As soon as the deal was done she would grab her stuff and get the hell out of Dodge. She had no interest in seeing the fallout from what was about to take place and the faster she got out of there the better. Once Sara came – and presumably went – she would pack her stuff and head back to her little, boring life in Chicopee away from all this drama. She wondered what would happen to Neal and Sara once she and Keller left town. Would they ever get their marriage back on track? Or was the damage she was about to inflict on the couple irrevocable, leading to a parting of the ways? And what about those cute kids, how would they cope with an eventual separation?

She wondered how things might have played out if she’d bumped into Neal without pretence or plotting. He might have even introduced her to Sara and the kids, maybe had her over for dinner with his family... she was certain she would have liked to get to know Sara Ellis under those circumstances. As it was, she was about to shatter this woman’s life for good by convincing her that her faithful and loyal husband was cheating on her. 

It wouldn’t be long now and she made certain Neal was in the proper position – on his back – as she straddled him, laying her head on his chest as she waited for their guest to arrive. She stared down at his face and Neal’s eyes opened and widened in horror at the sight of her in his arms. He struggled to resist her but the drug he’d ingested made his attempts seem pathetic and he lay there, powerless to move. At the designated moment, Michelle would place his limp arms around her and kiss him passionately, creating a visual that Sara Ellis would never forget.

A timid knock was heard and the door opened slowly.

‘Neal, are you in here?’ a woman’s voice asked.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Sara slowly opened the door to room 806 and peeked in, unsure of what – or who – she’d find inside.

‘Neal?Are you in here?’ she repeated, softly.

The room was dark except for the soft glow coming from the lamp by the bed and Sara began to make her way towards it like a firefly, inexplicably drawn to light. As her eyes adjusted to the muted lighting, she could make out some movement on the bed and in one split second, the image became clear as she saw a blonde woman, straddling her husband and kissing him, Neal underneath her, thrashing, seemingly enjoying the moment.

Sara’s hand went to her mouth in a useless attempt to stifle the loud moan that escaped and the woman turned to look directly into her eyes, defiantly staring her down. Neal’s eyes fluttered open, unfocussed and through his foggy mind, he caught a glimpse of his wife, attempting to call her name, his voice coming in no more than a whisper.

Within seconds, Sara was back out in the hallway of the eighth floor, back pressed against the door to the room where she had just confirmed her worse fears and tears began to fall, unbidden and unrestrained. 

She ran away as fast as her shaking legs could carry her.

WCWCWC

Michelle Young got up and took one last longing look at her ex-boyfriend lying helplessly on the bed. Neal was moaning, struggling to get up, his muscles not cooperating in any way as each attempt was greeted with failure. He was becoming more and more conscious as the drug started to fade from his system, leaving him confused and frustrated as his body failed to cooperate with his drug addled mind. 

Within minutes, Michelle had thrown her things into a suitcase and was ready to leave. She had no interest in waiting around for Neal to become completely conscious, witnessing his growing awareness of her betrayal. 

She bent down and gently kissed him as he stared ahead, eyes wide.

‘I’m so sorry Neal… for everything’ she murmured as she turned to go, leaving him even more confused as his mind struggled to make sense of what was happening around him.

Matthew Keller was waiting for her when she stepped into his room, a satisfied smile on his face as he handed her a brown envelope, brimming with her ill-gotten reward money.

She reluctantly grabbed the envelope from his hand, choosing not to look into his evil eyes.She couldn’t get away from him fast enough now that the depravity of what she’d done began to hit her square in the face. She had managed, in the space of a few days, to dismantle a happy family, piece by piece, taking advantage of a woman’s vulnerability and a man’s kindness to destroy everything they had built over a period of years. 

She felt dirty and disgusting and she wondered, in passing, how she had become this person.

‘You sure you don’t want to spend the night here with me?’ Keller asked as he ran his hand up her arm towards her face.

Michelle stepped back, interrupting the movement. ‘You disgust me!’ she spit more than said as she stared him down.

‘Now, now, Michelle, I do believe this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black’ he said with a smarmy sneer.

Michelle turned to leave, Keller’s words echoing in her ears.

WCWCWC

It was well past midnight when Peter parked his car in the visitor’s parking lot of the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan. Whatever mess Neal had gotten himself into this time, Peter seemed to have landed right in the middle of it, compliments of his wife.

The door to room 806 was slightly ajar and even from the hallway, Peter could hear Neal moaning, calling out for Sara in a voice he barely recognized. He pushed the door open to find his best friend on the bed struggling with all his might to push himself up, his body most uncooperative as the moaning persisted louder still.

‘Neal!’ he called out.

‘Oh Peter, thank God’ Neal said, his words slurred and his voice uneven.

‘What the hell happened?’ Peter asked as he made his way towards him.

‘I dunno...’ said Neal, frowning as he struggled to talk.

Peter put his arms out to support him, bringing him to a sitting position and watching as he immediately began to wilt, his muscles barely able to keep him vertical.

‘Who did this to you?’ Peter asked as he tried to establish a semblance of eye contact with Neal whose eyes were half closed and seemingly unresponsive.

‘Michelle gave me a driiiink’ Neal said with attempted emphasis on the word ‘drink’.

‘We’ve got to get you to the hospital’ Peter said as he continued to try to keep Neal upright.

‘No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no’ Neal replied, stuttering. He was reasonably sure he’d meant to say ‘no’ just once.

‘Neal, someone drugged you and we need to get a toxicology screen so we can figure out what we’re dealing with here’ Peter explained.

‘Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter. I need... to see Sara ... Sara maaaad’ the last word accentuated as if he was a two year old who was going to be scolded by his mom.

‘First things first’ said Peter, trying to tug Neal to his feet only to have him collapse in a heap at his feet like a slippery eel.

‘I’ll call for an ambulance’ he said.

‘No, no. Juss, juss help me.. ‘m fine’ Neal insisted, struggling to stay upright.

‘You’re _fine_?’ Peter repeated, shaking his head in disbelief.

‘Need to...call Sara...’ Neal said, trying to steady himself by grabbing onto Peter’s lapel and tugging insistently.

‘Yeah… I don’t think so, buddy. I’m pretty sure she’s not going to want to talk to you in this state.’ 

‘Michelle…. bed...’ Neal mumbled, unable to formulate more than partial sentences.

‘Was she in bed with you?’ Peter asked, his eyes narrowing.

Neal nodded emphatically. ‘Sara... Sara…’ he muttered, pointing to the door.

‘Sara was here?’ asked Peter as the pieces started to fall into place. 

Again, Neal nodded as if they were playing a game of charades.

‘Oh, shit!’ exclaimed Peter.

Neal continued to nod as he pointed to Peter in a gesture which let him know he was finally getting the picture.

‘Come on, buddy. We’ll get this sorted out. Just lean on me’ said Peter as he slipped his arm under Neal’s shoulder encouraging him to take a step.

Neal turned towards his partner, his nose barely two inches away from Peter’s.

‘Looove you’ he said with a goofy smile as Peter stared back.

‘Okay Neal. Let’s save that for later’ he said as he dragged him away.

WCWCWC

Sara arrived home to find Elizabeth pacing the living room, her eyes wild when she finally saw her friend step into the house.

‘What happened?’ she asked, unable to contain her question one moment longer.

Sara’s face was red and puffy and although the tears had momentarily subsided, it was obvious the respite would be short lived as her lower lip began to quiver once again, heralding the arrival of fresh as yet unshed tears.

‘What do you _think_ happened?’ she answered, her voice shaking. ‘I found Neal in bed with his floozy!’

Elizabeth made her way to stand beside Sara, taking her arm and guiding her towards the back of the house so she could sit her down at the kitchen table. She ran to the cabinet where she knew the Caffreys kept some wine and spirits and grabbed a bottle of scotch, bringing it to the table and pouring them each a healthy shot.

Sara began to blubber as she spoke. ‘They were in bed El! Together! Making out!’

‘What? Are you sure?’ Elizabeth asked, unable to compute the information she was hearing.

Sara glared at her – if looks could kill.

‘No’ she responded, sarcastically despite her despair. ‘It was Kermit and Miss Piggy! Of course, I’m sure, Elizabeth!’ she shouted, losing her cool.

‘Shhhh, calm down, you’ll wake the kids’ Elizabeth reminded her.

At that moment, nothing mattered to Sara, her husband had been unfaithful to her and their marriage was over and all she wanted to do was crawl into a hole and never come out.

She sobbed as she put her face in her hands.

WCWCWC

The emergency room was quiet by the time the men made it there a little after two in the morning. It was a slow night, it seemed, and Peter made his way to triage, flashing his badge.

‘Agent Peter Burke, FBI’ he said, in case the woman behind the desk couldn’t read what he was shoving in her face.

‘It’s an emergency. I need a tox screen on one of our agents’ Peter said, conceding his loose interpretation of the term ‘agent’.

The nurse looked up at Peter as she began to assess the situation, trying to mentally situate this new emergency among the other cases she was prioritizing.

‘Have a seat’ she said.

‘No, you don’t understand. Some of these drugs can leave the system quickly and we need to identify this drug ASAP. It’s a criminal case and the possibility of prosecuting the perpetrator is hanging in the balance’ he fibbed.

It wasn’t far from the truth – Neal had been drugged against his will and with potentially dire consequences, although mostly to his marriage. A toxicology screen wouldn’t identify the culprit although Peter hoped that Neal would be able to shed some light in that regard once he regained all of his faculties. He glanced towards him, noticing Neal begin to slowly slip off the chair Peter had precariously perched him on.

‘Let me see what I can do’ she finally said, sensing Peter’s panic.

Within five minutes, Neal was moved to an examination room and a blood sample was drawn. He had gone from moaning Sara’s name to singing it, over and over and over again, as he attempted to find rhyming words – something he was having very poor success with. 

Although his muscle control seemed to be improving slightly, Neal continued to whine and moan, obviously disconsolate about the situation. Peter was relieved that, at least momentarily, Neal had stopped imploring him incessantly to call Sara.

Peter stepped out for a moment, mostly to get away from Neal’s ear splitting lamentations, but also to fill Elizabeth in on what was happening.

Back in White Plains, El stepped away from the Caffreys’ kitchen table to take Peter’s call. She glanced at Sara, who was lying face first on the table, heartbroken.

‘Hi hon’ Peter said with a sigh, happy to talk to someone who wasn’t whining in his ear.

‘Peter, what’s going on? I’ve got Sara in bits here’ she said.

‘Well, I’ve got the other half of the twosome in pieces here too’ answered Peter as he prepared to explain the situation.

Although Neal had once again gotten himself into a mess, it became apparent to both Burkes that what Sara had witnessed had not been totally within his control and Peter and Elizabeth discussed ways of bringing the two of them together to talk things out. It would take some doing but the Burkes knew Neal and Sara well and they were beginning to see that circumstances and some devious plotting – which still hadn’t been completely accounted for – had conspired to bring them to this point.

El hung up, returning to Sara who had not moved from her spot at the table and who continued to sob loudly.

‘Neal’s at the hospital’ she announced, hoping to elicit a sympathetic response from Sara.

‘What?’ said Sara, sniffling. What do you mean, he’s at the _hospital_?’

‘Honey, he’s asking for you’ added Elizabeth - that part was true.

‘Is he hurt?’ Sara asked, her tone shifting from anger to concern.

Elizabeth felt a small twinge of guilt at the manipulation although she was convinced, as was Peter, that if they could just get these two in the same room, it would be the first step towards reconciliation.

‘He’s in a bad way’ she said simply, not exactly a lie although not quite the truth.

Sara was torn between her hurts and anger and her concern for the man she loved. ‘What should I do?’ she asked.

‘What do _you_ want to do?’ asked Elizabeth.

‘I want to see Neal’ Sara announced as she sat up.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

‘We have a positive ID on the drug your partner ingested’ said the doctor upon returning to the hospital cubicle which presently doubled as Neal’s concert hall.

The doctor’s words snapped Neal out of his aria and he looked from Peter to the man in the white lab coat as he struggled to understand what was being said.

‘It’s Rohypnol, it’s got a reputation as a date rape drug’ the doctor continued as he made his way to further examine Neal.

‘Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait’ said Neal, bringing his hands up to push the man away. ‘Rape drug? Can a _man_ be… raped by a woman?’

Seeing the look of distress in Neal’s eyes, the doctor exchanged concerned looks with Peter. ‘Legally, it’s referred to as sexual assault but yes. Any sexual activity without consent is considered assault. In a drugged state, a man can be physically stimulated and be forced to have intercourse without his consent or even without his knowledge.’

Neal stared at the doctor in horror. What if he’d unknowingly had sex with Michelle while he was in bed with her? The thought made his skin crawl and he realized he would never be able to forgive himself; worse yet, how could he ever face Sara?

‘I can examine you if you like, see if there are signs you ejaculated in the last couple of hours’ the doctor said, hoping to reassure his patient.

‘Please’ said Neal, his words still slurred. ‘I need to know.’

Suddenly, he felt his stomach lurch at the thought and he signalled Peter to pass him the basin that was nearby. Just in time, Peter stepped out of the way as he threw up violently.

‘Nausea is a common side effect of Rohypnol, as is confusion, problems speaking, dizziness, loss of muscle control and loss of consciousness. Mr. Caffrey, what do you remember about what happened?’ the doctor asked.

His thoughts were still jumbled but Neal had fleeting images of Michelle dragging him over to the bed, helping him out of his clothes, looming over him. He’d even imagined seeing Matthew Keller taunting him although that seemed totally crazy. ‘One minute, I was having a drink in her hotel room… and I the next thing I remember, I was in bed… with her. I don’t remember how I got there and it was like I couldn’t move…’

He could recall drifting in and out of consciousness, Michelle talking to him, lying on top of him as she kissed him, all a blur. Then, that vague recollection of seeing Sara in the room. Had he imagined it?

‘And I think… Sara was there’ he added, choking on his words. ‘Was Sara there?’ he asked Peter, his face contorted in confusion.

Peter hesitated. Did he want to tell Neal his wife had indeed walked in on him when he was in such a confused state?

Neal grew increasingly frustrated. ’Why can’t I remember anything?’

‘In another few hours, the effects will totally dissipate’ the doctor explained. ‘Sometimes, people remember details when their mind is clearer. Would you like me to carry out that examination now?’ the doctor asked.

‘Yes, please’ Neal answered, his voice quiet.

Peter gave him an encouraging pat on the back before retreating outside the room and reaching for his phone to get the lowdown from Elizabeth.

‘Sara’s on her way to the hospital’ El told her husband.

‘How is she?’

‘Hard to tell, she’s worried sick but she’s still mad as hell.’

‘I’ll see if I can intercept her’ Peter said as he glanced down the hallway. ‘Try to keep things from getting any worse.’

‘Honey, this is all kinds of screwed up’ El said on the other end of the phone. ‘How did Neal get himself into this situation?'

Peter shook his head at the eternal question. ‘I’ll see what I can do to run interference but they’re going to have to work this out for themselves… Damn it, she’s here. I’ll call you back.’

The sight of Sara stomping down the hall towards him was enough to terrify anybody, even a seasoned FBI agent like Peter Burke. He’d once referred to her as a tornado in heels and the description still applied years later. Sara Ellis was a force to be reckoned with and you did not want to stand in her way when she came at you with that look of determination in her eyes.

‘Peter!’ she called out when she spotted him standing there. ‘What the hell’s going on?’

He walked towards her although he knew he might be taking his life in his hands. It was all about giving her the facts without adding fuel to an already raging fire.

‘He’s still being examined. I found him in the hotel room, drugged.’

‘Drugged? What do you mean, drugged?’

‘Someone drugged him with Rohypnol’ Peter explained as calmly as he could.

‘What?! That… that date drug?’

He nodded in silence.

‘Is he… is he all right?’

‘He’s slowly coming out of it but it’s going to take a few hours before he clears the drug completely from his system.’

Peter could see the ambivalence in her eyes as she spoke; a curious mixture of outrage and deep concern.

‘Where is he? I want to see him.’

‘Sara, listen to me… before you go in there —’ Peter attempted, one last ditch effort at keeping things from blowing up.

‘Where is he?’ she repeated even more insistently.

He pointed meekly to the room he’d left moments before and watched as she stormed in, not bothering to knock.

WCWCWC

Neal sat up unsteadily as he took in the news; it appeared he had dodged a bullet and as unacceptable as his behaviour had been, he was relieved to hear he hadn’t crossed that line from which he would never be able to come back from.

‘Can I call my wife now?’ he asked the doctor, his words slurred.

‘You might want to give yourself a little more time’ the doctor began as the examination room door flew open to reveal an agitated redhead with a deep frown on her face.

‘Neal?’ she called out as she stood there, staring at the scene before her. It was definitely one of those proverbial ‘should I kiss him or smack him’ situations and Sara did neither, just standing there staring at what looked to be an extremely inebriated Neal, doing his best to stay vertical.

‘Babe…’ he managed to mumble as Peter appeared behind her.

Sara’s eyes went from her husband to the doctor, silently questioning them both. As hurt and angry as she was, she needed reassurance in the form of cold hard facts.

‘You must be Mrs. Caffrey’ the doctor asked, stepping away from Neal.

She didn’t bother to reply, just kept glaring. ‘What’s going on? What happened?’

Neal opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, the connection between his blurry mind and his body short circuited.

‘Your husband is recovering from a heavy dose of Rohypnol. He’s still showing signs of impairment but he should be back to his old self within a couple of hours’ the man said as he took a few steps towards the door.

‘If you’re not feeling better by morning, come back and we’ll see what we can do’ he told Neal before stepping out, leaving the feuding couple and Peter behind.

Peter was just as eager to make his escape but he was aware of his role as buffer between Neal and Sara.

‘This Michelle woman…’ Peter began, feeling the need to step into the breach considering Neal’s limited ability to communicate. ‘Apparently, she laced Neal’s drink and…’

Sara felt the anger building inside her once more. ‘I know what happened Peter. I was there’ she said bitterly. ‘I saw them in bed together.’

Neal watched as the two of them volleyed back and forth, playing the role of spectator in a situation where he had the starring role.

‘Sara, it’s not what you…’ he said meekly.

‘Shut up Neal’ she interrupted, surprising herself at the hard edge in her voice.

She was relieved to see he was all right but the image of him and Michelle in bed kept flashing unbidden in her mind’s eye. She still had a slew of unanswered questions and now that she was face to face with Neal and had ascertained he wasn’t in any immediate danger, she realized she wasn’t quite ready to let go of her anger.

‘Why don’t I bring him home?’ Peter said meekly. ‘Give you a few minutes to…’

Sara glared at him. Did she want her husband home? Was she ready to have whatever painful conversation they would eventually need to have?

‘Just… just get him sobered up and you can bring him home’ she instructed, not that Peter would ever even consider contradicting her.

Neal let out a huge exhale and Sara glanced in his direction.‘Just don’t… I don’t want to hear any bullshit from you Neal.’

He nodded in understanding. ‘I just need… a little time to…’

She glared at him dismissively. ‘Whatever…’ she said before turning and stalking out, her exit just as dramatic as her entrance.

Peter made his way to where Neal sat, still in shock.

‘At least she’s willing to hear you out’ he offered although that was small consolation considering what was at stake, namely the Caffrey marriage.

WCWCWC

A few cups of coffee and a couple of hours later, Neal was speaking coherently and some of the details which had thus far escaped him had begun to form more clearly in his mind.

‘I don’t think I imagined it’ Neal said as he and Peter sat in a coffee shop near the hospital.

‘But what does Keller have to do with any of this?’ Peter replied. ‘Do you think he’d go so far as to engineer something so diabolical?’

‘You don’t know just how vengeful and sadistic he can be.’

‘But this Michelle… he doesn’t even know her, does he?’

Neal shook his head. ‘I might have mentioned her in passing but no, not really.’

‘Well, I called the Plaza and she’s checked out, left before I even got there so we won’t be getting any answers from her.’

Neal’s mind wandered and he looked up at his best friend with weary eyes. ‘Do you think Sara will forgive me?’

Peter shrugged. ‘Normally, I’d say that in time she’ll find a way past it but she’s so vulnerable right now. El says she started on those meds but it’ll take a while for them to take effect.’

Neal ran his hand through his hair, leaving it hanging in his face and making him look twenty years younger. ‘How could I have been so stupid’ he asked rhetorically. ‘She kept popping up all over the place and I kept giving her the benefit of the doubt. That contact I was supposed to meet at the Plaza… that was obviously a cover.’

‘But why? Why would she do something like this twenty years after you two broke up. It doesn’t make any sense.’

‘It would if Keller was behind it. He’s always been jealous of the deal I cut with you guys.’

‘I can talk to Jones, see if we can track him’ Peter offered. ‘It just seems like such an elaborate ploy and for what?’

‘Because he’s always wanted what I have. Even back then, if I was interested in a girl, he’d make a move on her. He was jealous when I got involved with Kate, kept saying I didn’t deserve her…’

Peter gave him a sneer. ‘Don’t get me started on Kate’ he said.

Neal seemed to return to his more immediate problem, the need to talk things out with his wife. He’d been stupid and naive and for a moment, he tried to imagine how he would feel if he walked into a hotel room and found Sara in the arms of one of her exes. He owed her the whole story, from beginning to end, then all that was left was to hope that, eventually, she could see her way clear to forgiving him.

‘I want to go home’ he said suddenly. ‘I need to get everything off my chest.’

Peter glanced at his watch. ‘Maybe El and I can take the kids out for breakfast, give you some time to talk things out.’

Neal nodded and got to his feet. Ready or not, it was time to face the music.

WCWCWC

Sara had coffee on when they got back to the house. A brief and silent exchange between El and Peter and they were loading up the kids and heading out to give the couple some time alone.

Sara still hadn’t said a word, leaving Neal to guess at where her head was it. Of course, he was the one who had all the ‘splaining’ to do and it was a relief to see she was withholding judgement until she heard the whole damn story from beginning to end.

‘El tells me you started taking the meds. How are you feeling?’ he asked by way of breaking the ice.

Despite his actions to the contrary, Sara’s wellbeing remained his top priority but in light of recent events, the topic held no interest for her. ‘I don’t know yet’ she said dismissively. ‘Anyway, I don’t want to talk about that right now.’

He reshuffled, turning his body to face her on the family room couch. He owed her the whole enchilada, including a good honest look at his facial expressions as he coughed up the whole sordid tale.

‘Where do you want me to start?’ he asked.

She stared back intently. ‘You’re kidding, right?’ she said bitingly.

He took a deep breath and began with his first encounter with Michelle Young on the day of his visit to the Plaza Hotel. To her credit, she didn’t interrupt him but he couldn’t read much into her reactions, Sara remaining emotionless as he gave her chapter and verse of his recent misadventure. She sat up a little straighter when he got to the part about Michelle’s visit to their house and Neal reacted by slowing down, making sure he gave her all the sordid details including the fact that he had allowed Michelle to tuck their daughter in, something he now bitterly regretted. He weighed his words carefully as he spoke about Michelle’s overture and how, having realized he’d put himself in an untenable situation, he’d asked her to leave.

Neal was insightful enough to realize the whole thing sounded fishy as all hell from an outsider’s perspective, let alone the perspective of a woman who was struggling with postpartum depression. He walked a fine line, taking full responsibility for his actions yet pleading candour in reacting the way he had. From his vantage point, he could explain away most of his actions. All but one. 

The sticking point, for which he bore shame and guilt, was the kiss he’d shared with Michelle in her hotel room. He steeled himself for Sara’s reaction and dove in, choosing to be as honest as possible about what had transpired. 

‘After I left you with Elizabeth, I headed over to the hotel to confront Michelle about the photographs. I was confused and I needed some answers. I had a couple of drinks while I waited for her and by the time she got there, I was… I was feeling pretty relaxed.’

Sara listened in silence.

‘I was getting antsy, wondering if we were being watched and Michelle suggested we go up to her room to talk.’

Whereas she’d basically been wearing a poker face all throughout the whole accounting, Sara’s facial expression grew skeptical at this latest wrinkle.

‘You followed her up to her room?’

This was no time for deflections and fibs, Neal knew it had to be the whole truth if they had any hope of getting through this.

He took a deep breath. ‘I’d had a couple of scotches at the bar, which was my first mistake’ he admitted. ‘At first, I wasn’t sure I could trust her… but she looked genuinely surprised when I showed her the pictures. I was anxious… anyway, whatever the reason, I wasn’t totally with it when I followed her upstairs. I knew someone had been following us… let’s just say it sounded like a reasonable idea at the time.’

Sara kept her face serious as she spoke. ‘You know Neal, for a guy who spent a good part of his life conning people, you sure are naive when it comes to others playing you. Especially women.’

He exhaled slowly. ‘Guilty as charged’ he admitted without hesitation.

‘Can I tell you how I was feeling?’ he continued. To her heavy silence, he carried on. ‘Lately… it’s like I don’t know you anymore. It’s been… scary, seeing you pull into yourself, pull away from me. I’ve been feeling scared and alone.’

She nodded. She had to give him that much, it was a scary time for both of them.

‘I know it sounds cliché but I wasn’t thinking straight and once we got up to her room, I knew I was in trouble.’

‘She’s beautiful’ Sara said as if she were commenting on the weather.

Neal didn’t reply but then again, he didn’t need to. ‘She’d been coming on to me… not that I can’t usually handle stuff like that.’

He wanted to plead his case, remind Sara that he’d always been faithful to her, that he’d never once thought of straying but it would all sound contrived so he didn’t go there. Instead, he concentrated on being straightforward about his feelings of loneliness and fear.

‘It’s been lonely without you since… well, since Liam was born. You’ve been pushing me away, you haven’t been able to tell me what’s going on and I’ve been scared I was going to lose you.’

‘What? Is that some sort of excuse for letting your dick dictate your actions?’ she said bitterly.

‘No. No there _is_ no excuse, I know that.'

‘So what happened?’

‘She kissed me… and I kissed her back.’

For the first time since they’d sat down, he saw a flash of emotion in her eyes. ‘You kissed her back?’

He kept his eyes on her, fighting the urge to look away. ‘I did.’

Sara’s bottom lip began to tremble as she fought off tears.

‘For a few seconds, I… I just went with it. It was… a moment of weakness. It felt comforting and…’

Anger flared again in Sara’s eyes. ‘I really don’t want to hear how _comforting_ it was to kiss her, Neal’ she spat at him. ‘You know, I could have used some comfort myself.’

Ouch. As if he’d been kicked in the gut, Neal winced. To her credit, Sara remained sitting, letting it all play out, as painful as it all was.

Neal was determined not to portray himself as the victim. ‘I should have resisted… but I didn’t. I was weak. And I was wrong.’

‘How… how far did it go?’ she asked, suddenly needing to hear the sordid details.

‘It was just one kiss, it lasted a few seconds’ he replied. ‘Then I pulled away and got up and moved to another chair. I told her I loved my wife and that I would never be unfaithful. She backed off… but then she handed me that laced drink.’

‘Did you have sex with her?’ Sara asked and he could tell by the sound of her voice that she really didn’t want to know.

‘No, I didn’t’ he said with relief. ‘I don’t remember everything but the doctor confirmed I hadn’t…’

She raised an eyebrow as she took in the information.

‘Look Sara, I could lie and tell you nothing happened but if I did, then everything from here on in would be built on a lie. The truth is for a second I was tempted, really tempted but I came to my senses and I stepped away. You… our marriage, it means too much to me.’

A tear spilled onto Sara’s cheek and she wiped at it, annoyed at her lack of self-control. She didn’t want to react this way, preferring to hold on to her anger.

‘Sara I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry’ he said simply. There was no point in embellishments and over the top declarations. He _was_ sorry, sorry he’d been weak, sorry he hadn’t seen the charade that what was playing out right in front of his eyes, sorry he’d hurt the one person who meant the most to him.

To his surprise, she stood, towering over him. ‘You’re an asshole’ she declared before walking away.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full illumination: I've taken a bit of dramatic license on some of the medical stuff. So sue me.


	15. Chapter 15

Sara had stomped off and was halfway up the stairs when there came a decisive knock at the front door. It was still early morning and she stopped dead in her tracks, wondering who would be visiting at such an unusual hour. She reached out to open the door just as Neal caught up with her.

Standing there was the woman who’d been at the centre of their discussion just moments earlier. She wasn’t looking nearly as glamorous as she had lying in bed with Neal the night before. There were bags under her eyes and her hair was disheveled. A suitcase lay at her feet.

‘Michelle!’ Neal called out as Sara stared at her. The young woman’s eyes were squarely on Sara, gauging her reaction. Sara’s breath hitched and for a moment she had an almost irrepressible urge to smack the jezebel across the face. But that seemed a little overdramatic even for Sara and to be honest, at the moment she was just as angry with her husband as she was with this stranger.

‘I came to talk to _you_ ’ the woman said, eyes still riveted on Sara.

Sara’s hand was already up, preparing to slam the door in her face. ‘I’m not interested in anything you have to say.’

Michelle took a step forward. ‘Please… I won’t take much of your time. I just… I owe you an explanation.’

Sara felt her blood boil as she hesitated. Did it really matter what this woman had to say? Neal was the one who’d let her down, she was merely the side dish to her husband’s lack of fidelity. But curiosity won out and Sara took a step back, her face hardened while Neal stared ahead, still in shock.

Michelle glanced over at him, trying to evaluate what state he was in. ‘Neal, are you all right?’

He felt anger rising in his chest. ‘No thanks to you’ he replied, his voice hard.

The young woman returned her attention to Sara who was still glaring at her.

‘Sara, I owe you an explanation. And an apology. I was waiting for my train and I… well, I realized I couldn’t leave without making sure you know the truth.’

‘And why should I believe anything you have to say?’ Sara shot back.

Michelle’s cheeks reddened. ‘You’re right. I’ve been dishonest with Neal from the very start. I was hired to come here and mess with the two of you.’

‘Hired?’ Neal repeated as he stepped forward. Maybe his and Peter’s crazy theory about Matthew Keller wasn’t totally off the mark.

‘I was approached by Matthew Keller’ she admitted as both Neal and Sara stared back in surprise. ‘He wanted… some sort of revenge on you and he offered me money to come here and… interfere in your lives. Sara, I had no idea you were in such a fragile place… I mean I didn’t know you’d just had a baby and were… having a hard time.’

Sara glanced over her shoulder at Neal, shooting daggers. How could he have shared such an intimate detail about their private lives with a perfect stranger?

‘I took advantage of the fact Neal was upset about what was happening to you to worm my way in’ she admitted. ‘I manipulated him to open up and I took advantage of his vulnerabilities even though it was obvious he had no interest in me.’

Sara exhaled. ‘I really don’t think this is helpful in any way…’

‘Please, Sara. Just hear me out. You can decide what you want to believe but I can’t let Neal take all the heat for this. I worked him… I worked him hard. I ambushed him at his office, literally dragged him out to lunch and I manipulated my way into your home, using your innocent daughter.’

Sara scoffed. ‘You’re just an all around sweetheart, aren’t you?’

‘I did it for the money’ the woman said, her eyes dropping in shame to the floor. ‘And I’m ashamed of what I did. Keller came looking for me and I didn’t have the common sense or the courage to say no.’

Once again, Sara reached for the door, intent on slamming it in the stranger’s face.

‘Sara wait! I pulled out all the stops to seduce Neal but he wasn’t interested. He told me how much he loved you and your kids and he pushed me away more than once but I kept coming back.’

Sara knew better than anyone that it took two to tango and she wasn’t about to let her husband off the hook because this hussy was taking responsibility for what had happened.

‘What?’ she said with fire in her voice. ‘You expect me to believe Neal is perfectly innocent in all this?’

Michelle shrugged. ‘I’m just saying, I’m the one who pursued him. He made it clear he didn’t want any part of me. I tricked him.’

‘Well, Neal is a grown man and he can make his own decisions. By all appearances, that included following you up to your hotel room and climbing into bed with you.’

‘No! No! I drugged him. I dragged him practically unconscious into the bed. When you… when you walked in, I made it look like something it wasn’t. He never touched me, he never made a single move on me.’

‘Except for that kiss you shared’ Sara said, her voice bitter.

Michelle’s face grew pale.

‘What? You didn’t think he’d tell me about that? Neal might be a cheating rat but he knows better than to lie to me.’

Ouch. Neal felt the words slice through him like a hot knife.

‘Look, I’m not proud of what I did’ the woman said, turning her attention to Neal. ‘But I was telling you the truth when I told you I’d had a hard life. When Keller offered me cash to do this, it seemed like a lark. That is, until I saw that look of horror on your face Sara. All of a sudden, I realized I was messing with a family’s real life. I couldn’t let you believe that Neal had been unfaithful to you. He’s one of the good guys.’

‘Please, spare me. I don’t need a stranger singing the praises of my wayward husband’ Sara shot back, anger seeping from her pores.

Once more, the words hit Neal like a punch to the gut. Had he done irreparable damage to his marriage?

This time, Sara had had enough and she stepped back, her eyes moving to the staircase as she headed in that direction, leaving Neal standing at the door face to face with Michelle.

‘I’d like to say it was nice to see you again Michelle but....I think you’ve done enough damage’ he said. 'Please leave.’

She backed up a few steps and Neal slammed the door shut, looking up just in time to see Sara disappear up the stairs.

WCWCWC

‘Were you able to locate him?’ Neal asked.

‘Jones tracked him to the Plaza. Apparently he’s staying there too.’ Peter replied on the other end of the phone.

‘I’m going to find him’ Neal said, anger in his voice.

‘Not alone, you’re not’ came the reply.

WCWCWC

Peter flashed his badge at the young woman behind the desk. She seemed impressed; she’d never seen a real live FBI agent before.

‘You’re with the FBI?’ she asked as Peter scowled.

‘Have you seen this man?’ he asked, flashing a picture of Matthew Keller.

‘Is he a bad guy?’ the impressionable young woman asked.

Neal, meanwhile, was ready to jump out of his skin. He stood at Peter’s side, fists clenched. He fully accepted his part in what had happened between him and Michelle and the inevitable consequences to his marriage but he was still livid at Keller for instigating the whole sordid affair. _’Give me five minutes alone with him’_ he’d said to Peter on the drive over. Not that Peter was going to let him out of his sight. Neal was a lover not a fighter and although Peter had seen how anger could fuel rage and turn a milquetoast into a superhero, he wasn’t about to let Neal face Matthew Keller on his own.

‘Have you seen him?’ he repeated to the starry-eyed young woman.

‘That’s Mr. Thompson. He’s been staying here all week’ she said.

Neal let out a grunt and Peter glanced in his direction, hoping to keep his ire to a gentle simmer.

‘What room?’

The woman gave a few clacks on her computer keyboard. ‘Oh’ she said. ‘He checked out this morning. Before I came on.’

‘How long ago?’ Peter asked.

‘A little over an hour ago.’

Neal let out another grunt as Peter dragged him away from the desk. ‘Looks like we missed him.’

WCWCWC

The following weeks were tense as Neal and Sara worked through the aftermath of what had happened. Neal’s anger at Keller continued to simmer although, even with the Bureau’s help, they’d been unable to locate the man. The bright spot in their lives was the fact that Sara had stuck with the medication Dr. Cooper had prescribed and she’d slowly began to feel more in control. The first time Neal had seen her laughing spontaneously as she tickled Hope, he somehow knew she would be all right. 

Coming on the heels of Neal’s car accident the previous winter, this latest misadventure had only added to the level of mistrust between them, especially for Sara. Following his accident, as he’d struggled with memory loss, Neal had temporarily moved out of the house, leaving a pregnant Sara insecure about their future. This latest situation with Michelle had only further shaken Sara’s faith in her husband and it would take time to rebuild the previous level of trust which had existed between them.

Neal was prepared to do just about anything to return to the life they’d once had and he suggested couples counselling to help them navigate the present storm. Inevitably, the situation with Michelle and their trust issues were discussed as the couple worked hard to find their way back to each other.

Over a period of weeks and months, the intimacy between them, which had been nonexistent for weeks, had begun to gradually return. They spoke candidly and openly and Sara began to open up to Neal, allowing for physical closeness to come back, bit by bit.

It had been a year from hell for the young family and as the old saying went, things couldn’t get much worse. Neal and Sara looked forward to a new beginning and they were both committed to making it happen.

La fin


End file.
